Diary of a Gryffindork
by paddy lover1417
Summary: Hogwarts life just got a lot more interesting for Lela Snape since her former enemy Sirius Black keeps bothering her. This is 6th year through Lela's eyes. I don't own Harry Potter sadly! I only own people you don't recognize!
1. September

**September 1**

Ahhh, a fresh spanking new diary. Compliments of my dearest "friend" Bethany, who forgot my birthday (seven months ago). I suppose it's the thought that counts though, right? Actually, Bethany is nowhere near my friend. In fact, if her mother and my mother had not been best mates in school, neither of us would waste our money nor breathe on the other over the holidays. But to please our mothers, we go on group shopping trips (if we can't get out of them as fast as possible), and pretend to tolerate each other. But at school, the field is open and all is fair in this war. Jinxing in the hall, public humiliation, anything to prove that Bethany Knott and Lela Snape are NOT friends. So why do I write in a diary from an enemy? Mostly because I gave it to Peter Pettigrew to test, a small shrimp of a Gryffindor in my year. As nothing happened to him, I expect nothing will happen to me. I mean, Bethany isn't smart enough to know any spells that target specific people. She hangs around Malfoy for petessake. I also know for a fact that this is a re-gift from Bethany's ditzy minion (that's friend in Slytherin speak), whose dad is completely obsessed with muggle artifacts (that's very hush hush though). This is a muggle diary.

What's that? Do I hear Slytherin shrieks in the distance?

Oh wait. That's not over my diary being muggle, someone set off a dung bomb. Ah well, can't blame me for wanting to be important. I'm sitting in my compartment, on the Hogwarts Express, with my most faithful and favorite mudblood (who has hit me in the head with a very large charms book once this is said, though she knows I am only joking) Megan Taylor. Megan's not really a mudblood.... again with the smacking... but she used to have a crush on Sirius Black and when she talked to him, she acted so dense he wanted to know if she was muggleborn. Poor Megan has the misfortune of being in the house of the snakes, Slytherin house. Poor, poor Megan. I tried to fix her one summer, but she just grew ears that resembled a donkey's and I got a warning from the Ministry of Magic. Honestly! A warning! That's the last time I do anything nice or good for the sake of humanity.

Megan is in my year, and the same house as my brother. You see, we are twins (my brother and I, not Megan and I). Fraternal. In fact, we look so different (I get my looks from our aunt while poor Severus got the pale greasy genes) that many people let out screeches of surprise when they find out. "Your Snape's sister?", "bloody hell, what happened to him?", and my favorite "no way." As if blatant denial of my relationship will make it somehow untrue.....

The point is, I have no problem with Slytherins (example A: Megan Taylor across from me), in fact a few are less evil then some Gryffindors. Stop pointing at me, Megan. But, you see, we Gryffindors just have more fun. It's true, though my Slytherin friend is delusional, shown by her laughter at this comment. Take for example last year, Daisy Patil snatched someone's knickers and charmed them to dance around the common room and sing. Mind you, I didn't much enjoy it as they were my knickers; but surely if I had been spectating, I would have thoroughly enjoyed it as well. Megan has brought up the point that perhaps it is just that I am not liked. I counter this by saying that I am liked well enough, I just have a history of hatedness with a few particularly popular people within my house.

You see, the Marauders are quite the troublemakers. This group is made up of the shrimp Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Sirius Black. Ooh I got three squeals from Megan. How interesting. Unlike Lily Evans, who James Potter has liked (and when I say liked I mean stalked obsessively in an almost disturbing manner) since third year, I have someone who hates me within the Marauders. So while she can lose her temper with them without anything but a bit of teasing, I get pranked for answering a question in Transfiguration that one of the Marauders wished to answer. Megan has just stated that this is not true, that Black seems a bit smitten with me and that we could have lovely big headed children together. I would throw something but my poor friend has obviously lost her mind for Black is the one who hates me from within the group. Besides, the cart just came and I am quite hungry (a common occurrence). Back in a moment.

**September 2**

True, that was quite a bit more then a moment, but I was very distracted and could not continue to write. Now that it is dark and my dorm mates are asleep (snoring rather loudly may I add), I may explain why I was distracted. After Megan and I had spent nearly all the money in our pockets on chocolate frogs and other such candy (for you see, we are both chocoholics, something we take the up most pride in, I might add.), the door opened. Well, there stood Black, as if he sensed that we had been talking about his big conceited head just moments before. He, however, must have been very lost as our compartment is as far as possible away from the Marauders (as any person with the last name of Snape, who is hated by the Marauders, or is in Slytherin, should sit). Anyway, the poor lost bigheaded boy (known from now on as L.B.H.B) stepped into our compartment and looked around, absolutely baffled. In fact, he was so confused that he gave Megan a look I could not see, but was apparently threatening enough to send her running to the bathroom. The confused L.B.H.B (known as C.L.B.H.B from here on) then sat down in her seat and began to pick at the chocolate frogs. Well, this made me a very confused girl and I decided that raising my eyebrow at him would send my message of 'get out'. Perhaps I'd try giving him one of my brothers scathing looks, accompanied by a glare. I fear that I just scrunched my nose in a look of disgust rather than a scathing look and a glare. There truly is no hope for me, you see.

The C.L.B.H.B smiled, completely aware that I was incapable of glaring at him and actually asked how my summer was. I may not be in smart Ravenclaw, or cunning Slytherin, but I am fully aware that this is not behavior that is usually found from anyone in the Black family. Those who hate each other do not ask each other how their summers were. A prank was on the rise. I should, now that I think about it, have ignored him and given him my would be glare, but my mouth seemed to skip ahead of my reason and say "fine." I was at least happy to hear that my tone was cold as ice. As it should have been. I gave him my scrunched-nose-wish-I-could-glare-daggers-at-you glare as he opened one of my chocolate frogs. Gasp! No one opens my chocolate frogs, they were my babies. Was this the prank? Had he come in to eat all my poor, poor, defenseless chocolate frogs? "Ugh. I always get Morgana," he stated, throwing the card over his shoulder, where it hit the wall.

Truthfully, I didn't really care how often he got Morgana as a card, or that he was dense enough to chuck the card over his shoulder when it was obvious that a wall was there. All I cared was that my poor froggy was now being digested in that C.L.B.H.B (which will now stand for Confused Lost Big Headed Bastard and will have Who is a Chocolate Frog Stealer added to his title. C.L.B.H.B.W.C.F.S.) Well, I could maintain my "glare" no longer since he had now distracted himself with opening every bag and letting the frogs hop about. It was very distracting. "What do you want, Black?" I fear my voice came out in a croak as one frog hopped out of the door. "Only to talk. James is being Head Boy, Remus is reading, and Peter's nowhere to be found." Oh dear, diary. Nothing is more dangerous then a bored member of the Black family, or the Malfoy family (but that is really a different story entirely). I know this as I have often found Severus at the victim end of the bored boy who at that moment sat across from me. I asked "So, come to prank me, Black?" The little frog eating bastard gave me the most shocked, innocent looking face in the history of such faces and said that he had no idea what I was talking about and why would he want to prank me? As if, diary! Luckily, before I could possibly recount all the reasons why he would want to prank me, my number one reason appeared at the door and gave Black his best scathing look and glare.

For, diary, my brother knows how to do it best. I fear that while I got the less greasy genes, he received the emotionless eyes and scathing looks. Life simply is not fair.

I was quite pleased to see him, until I smelled the dung bomb on him. They smell worse then Aunt Bertha's feet, if I even had an Aunt Bertha to compare it to. Well, dearest brother and the C.L.B.H.B.W.C.F.S greeted each other as they normally did and then big brother jumped in with a "What are you doing with my sister?" As if he caught us snogging or something terribly naughty like that. "Just chatting with my good friend Lela here," Black replied. This was the prank, I'm sure, get the scathing glare on me! I gave Black my best scrunched nose/disgusted look and stood, rolling my eyes at my brother so he understood that in fact, I would rather go and hang around Bethany then this C.L.B.H.B.W.C.F.S. He seemed to get the message for as I left, I heard him begin to hiss something to Black and I recalled, sadly, that all my chocolate lay in the soon to be battlefield. The death of so many innocent chocolate frogs by something other then my consumption made me very depressed. So depressed that I bought some cauldron cakes. My love is a fickle thing.

Today, I had classes. It sucked. Bethany started the year by ruining my potion and making Professor Slughorn take off points, even though he does like me a bit. I'm no Slugclub girl but I am fairly close to it. I have nearly won him over with my natural charm (did I just hear a snort of laughter from my sleeping dorm mate? Can they read my mind?! Oh wait... she swallowed a fly. I feel better knowing that Daisy Patil is hacking because of a fly rather then laughing at my thoughts). Anyway, then I traveled to Divination with Megan, the stupidest class in the history of classes, then Charms, and then Transfiguration. Such a busy day that I had no time to write anything down. For you see, I had nothing to write down. I will try better later.

**September 7**

I am abnormally happy! In fact, Megan has checked my temperature three times already because I have been skipping wherever I go. I have been given the honor by the headmaster and McGonagall to commentate for quidditch matches. I am so excited. Nothing is better then watching boys flying around on brooms. Except maybe watching boys walking around without shirts..... but that is a different story for a time when I feel the need to make up a story.

The second reason why I am so happy is that I, Lela Snape, have gotten Bethany Knott in trouble. I know it is a terrible thing to rejoice at, but can you hear me giggling with glee? No? I shall cackle instead then. The wrinkly bat of a librarian just glared at me, so I must cackle quietly. I must say, it is much less evil and I'm sure wherever my dear brother is, his ears are burning with embarrassment to have such a sister. Anyway, it happened quite simply, you see, I was walking down the hall and stopped as I turned the corner. It was like one of those old muggle westerns I've snuck out to see when Severus wasn't looking. I, the good sheriff, was at the far end of the town (hallway) and she, the evil cattle wrangler, was at the other. She had her whole band of bandits, all stopped their rowdy thieving and looting to stare at me, glares and whispers passing around. One of them looked at Bethany for advice, and she whispered something devious, nodding towards the hallway behind them. They left down it, glaring at me as they went. "Sheriff," she nodded, a smirk coming onto her bandit mouth. I nodded, giving her my best intimidating look as I rested my hand on my pistol at my hip. "What are you doin' 'round these here parts, Knott?" I questioned, taking a step forward as I chewed on a piece of straw stuck in my mouth. "Reckon I'm here for potions," she replied, cracking her neck as she moved her fingers, ready to reach for her pistols and shoot at me. Well, no one does that to the Sheriff! "Thanks for the diary," I commented off handily. I stepped closer to the stairs leading down to the dungeon, if this showdown didn't finish up soon, we'd be late. And the concerned we really only applies to me, for all I care Bethany Knott can go jump in the lake, though that may not be sheriff-ish thoughts. I spat (is it spat or spitted? point is I *past tense of spit*) out the straw piece and smirked at her. (Okay, I'm carried away. Back to the real dialogue. Too many movies.)

Well, we stared at each other until she smirked and began to waltz towards me. "Your welcome. Your just lucky my mum wouldn't let me jinx it, or all your silly little secrets would be all over the school." She let out a cackle that wasn't at all attractive, not like my cackle, which suits me quite well with a ladylike quality to it that makes it so elegant that I may just laugh like that all the time. No, her cackle was demonic, like an evil water imp coming to steal your chocolate frogs. Anyway, she continued, fingering her wand, "Then again, I could jinx you to do it yourself." She pulled out her wand but for some odd reason I was ready. "Hypnosis" I declared, sending a jet of light straight at her head. Diary, I have never hypnotized anyone with that spell, in fact usually someone ends up with singed eyebrows. This time, however, it worked and I got her to go back to her common room until the end of class, when she marched into potions and told Professor Slughorn that she was sorry she couldn't make it to potions, but she'd bring him some doughnuts later (she ended by calling him Professor Fatty McFat-Fat). I felt delightfully evil for the whole potions period. She has a week of detention. Insert evil laughter here please. Oops, here comes the librarian, I fear she'll kick me out.

**September 9**

It is far to early in the morning. You will have to excuse the oatmeal drops on the pages because I am not fully awake and seem incapable of aiming and succeeding to make the oatmeal into my mouth. The only problem with being a Gryffindor with only Gryffindor acquaintances is that I can hear snickering and there is no one to glare angrily at the snicker-ers. I am also far too tired to perform a cleaning charm. I wouldn't be up if Patil's friend, Elizabeth Smith, hadn't started snoring at about 4 o'clock in the morning. No amount of silence charms could save me. I miss fired and soon was more awake then asleep. Unfortunately, that's not saying much. Ew. I just spilled jam in my lap. Those giggles are far too cheerful and I think I should send the jam to them. Their laps look too clean.

I am here before half of Hogwarts population, which is very sad. Now that I think of it, Megan isn't even up, and she's the one who usually laughs at my exaggerated yawns as I enter. The only people at the Gryffindor table are Lily Evans, Patil (also looking tired), Remus Lupin, some third years (snickering), and a first year. And Black has just entered the room, walking as if it were not far to early, and winking at passing girls. If I were in better humor, I'd find it funny how they swoon, especially Patil, but I'm not and therefore I don't. What an annoying git. I just realized that my hair is especially messy, lovely. Jam in my lap and messy hair. I'm a right beauty. At least I don't have to worry about his gitness coming and sitting near me, with my jam in my lap.

Damn. Spoke to soon. Now he's sitting across from me, buttering his toast as if he always sits next to exhausted people with jam in their laps and absurdly messy hair. Who he hates. Have I mentioned we don't like each other? It's not a one sided hatred. It's fairly mutual, I assure you. At least I don't have to be bothered with conversation.

Damn it! He just said "Good morning, Snape". I take it that's me, as my brother is not present and I don't have any cousins who attend Hogwarts, as far as I know. Oh, why am I so cousin-less? I suppose I will have to answer with a good morning, but I think I'll grunt instead, maybe he'll bugger off and get the point that I'm in no mood for his pranks or jokes.

He's a git. He is now smiling at me, despite the grunt, and it grows to a grin when I miss my mouth and stab my cheek with my spoon. He's laughing at my jam lap, absurdly messy hair, and spooned cheek. Bloody hell I hate the mornings. Maybe if I ignore him, he'll go and flirt with Patil who is now glaring at me, fiercely. It's her own fault for that damn friend of hers. Patil should charm her snores to be soothing lullabies. I should have done that. Stupid stupid stupid.

Can he not see I am in the middle of mentally kicking myself? Now he's trying to talk to me. Why, fates, why? Is this punishment for what I did to Bethany? Black is going to converse with me at this ungodly hour?! You couldn't wait until I was fully awake and had a jam less lap, nice hair, and an unspooned cheek? You have a terribly cruel sense of humor. There he goes again. As if I care about how long it took him to do his transfiguration essay. Just because it took him one day instead of the three it took me doesn't mean I'm impressed. Though it does show he is very smart. Ahh! Look at the delirium caused by jam in my lap, a spooned cheek, and absurdly messy hair! It is making me think about Black in a way that is not hating. Bad! MAKE HIM STOP TALKING!! I see I will have to take this in my own hands. Oh dear... I've dropped some egg now..... I was quite looking forward to eating those too. A moment of silence.

**In history of magic, much later**

Now that I am much more awake, I can recount the odd events that occurred when I took things into my own hands and since. Because the fates neglected me and left me to my own defenses, Black sat there, talking, brushing his hair from his eyes, waving at a girl or two (and I get glares because apparently they expected a wink or something. Take him, please. I beg of you! My internal pleas did nothing), and then talking some more. I really didn't give a flobberworm's tush about what he was saying (something about the weather and it's perfect flying weather. Did I note a suggestive tone? Suggestive for a prank! Finally, when I could take no more of his yapping for the intense headache it was giving me, I decided to try a new tactic. I threw down my spoon and splattered us both with oatmeal (I mean I was covered in my breakfast anyway). This stopped his talking as he looked at me, half shocked, half smirking, probably thinking I was a complete spas who couldn't aim for her mouth when eating. Though this is true in the morning, the smirk infuriated me.

"Black," I announced in a tone quite close to the one Lily uses with Potter. "I don't care. I really don't." He looked completely confused and now that I look back on it, a bit cute, though he is Sirius Black and his cuteness is overpowered by his arseness. "Don't care?" he asked confused. Poor child. So often confused. He just could not believe that I did not care about his many opinions on the weather, fascinating as the subject always is. "Listen," I snapped, waving my wand so all the jam and oatmeal on my face and lap disappeared, (and my hair was less absurdly messy). "It's early, Patil's bloody friend woke me up with her bloody snoring, I want to go to sleep, and you are giving me a bloody headache. I don't care about the weather or your essay. In fact, the only thing I care about at the moment," and at this point my voice was very loud indeed. "All I care about is seeing your retreating back and NOT HEARING YOUR BLOODY VOICE ANYMORE!" Well, there was a shocked silence as I realized that everyone in the Great Hall (which was now quite full) was staring at me, and Black took in what I said. If I had not been in such an annoyed mood and wasn't talking to Black, I would have felt a tad bit sad for the hurt look that came over his face, but I had seen him pull this face with many teachers and was not swayed. "Are you saying you like my back view?" He whispered it, but everyone could hear. He had that smirk again. Ooh I hate that smirk so much. I hate it more than a jam filled lap! A few people giggled and I felt sure it was more at me than the comment. That just burnt my toast terribly, which is not good because I hate burnt toast, and I mean really hate. I once burned my toast and was so filled with hatred that I threw it out a window with as much force as I could muster. In fact I prefer my toast a very light brown. I am quite specific on this matter. Where was I? Oh yes: "I am saying that you, Sirius Black, are the most annoying git I have ever had the unpleasantness to have met and know," here I paused so he could get this first part in (he's slow so the pause is necessary). "I have completely lost my appetite." With that I stood and threw my bag over my shoulder, stomping off. I heard from Megan that Black made a large show of being heartbroken by my insults and now girls from Black's fan club are giving me death glares. I have surely made at least twenty new enemies, in each house. Just what I need. The saddest part is that I hadn't lost my appetite at all. And now, I am very hungry as this morning hardly any food actually made it to my mouth. Sadness, and much of it.

Oddly enough, from this display I have made a semi-ally it seems. For as I was in the bathroom, I heard Lily Evans and Daisy Patil come in fighting ferociously. Lily, it seemed, believed that Black had everything that I said coming to him, as the majority of it, if not all, was true (smart girl, she is. Don't care what Severus says. I like her). Patil, meanwhile, claimed that I was, in her words, "a stuck up prick," for being so mean and rude to the poor dear. She claimed that I had simply crushed him and he was refusing to speak to anyone, which was completely untrue because I'd heard him talking to Potter loudly as I left Transfiguration. He, if I recall correctly, had been boasting of knowing where the kitchen was and I'm sure it was just to taunt me because he knows I had little success eating breakfast. Anyone who could be so cold hearted deserved what was coming to him, be that enemies or heartbreak (back to quoting Patil on me). Patil hoped that Black would get over me so that he could prank me as normal. Lily seemed to take this quite personally and demanded to know if this meant that she was a stupid prick for rejecting the big headed Potter. Patil let out a cackle and said that yes she was. Then they both stomped off. Poor Lily, being friends with a git like Patil, whose cackle really isn't very elegant at all. Actually rather gnome like, and trust me, that is not a pleasant sound. Especially when they are cackling while running off with your perfectly browned toast. Lily was apparently so mad that she is sitting next to me. I feel like the motorcycle rebel boyfriend a girl dates only to rebel against her parents. So used yet to apathetic to care.

Now as I sit here in History of Magic, I am getting a plotting look from Black. He has most likely taken Patils advice. I must be the only girl in our year he has not snogged, excepting those in Slytherin, but really he holds a deep hatred for the house. I think he fears their cooties. Maybe I should ask dearest Severus for some cooties. I fear Black wishes to complete the snogged-every-girl-in-my-year-excepting-cootie-slytherins goal of his. What will my dear brother say? A prank will bring me around, Black, I guarantee it. What a git. Ahh, well. Better to be pranked by Black then annoyed. At least when he's being mean towards me it's natural, none of this pretend Black that seems human.

**September 16**

Am doing horribly in Transfiguration. Got a T on my last test. Maybe in trouble. T is for troll........ I feel as if I've been called fat.... that hurts, especially since I have a special fondness for food, possibly matched only by Potter's declared fondness for Lily. In short, it is my one and true love. Yet I never get fat, so it simply encourages my love further. But now that I know I am a troll, I may have to eat smarter food. I wonder what James Potter, Transfiguration boy wonder, eats.

**September 20**

If I don't finish my essay for Transfiguration I may be in deep shite. I got another pop quiz back, and I got a horrible grade. I'm just not as good at Transfiguration as Potter and Black. I used to be like them, but then I got better. More reason to despise Black. He has tried to lure me into his "Mr. Nice-guy" prank again. This time in the library where I sat innocently doing my homework. He sat down and actually asked to borrow my book. When I said I was using it he scooted closer to share. Can't he let me be? And why does Megan disappear whenever he appears?! I need moral support so I am not sent to Azkaban for murder! He finally annoyed me so greatly, turning in his chair to whisper things in my ear about the upcoming quidditch match and about me cheering for him to win and what not, that I stood and left my book, saying he could use it and to tell me when he was finished. Obviously, I was distracting him. He nodded and said something about pretty girls distracting him, and I told him to shove it up his arse. But, I said it very ladylike because I am a woman of high society who has attended many etiquette classes. So, you mustn't think me rude, diary. Doesn't he know that people who are called fat and trolls are never in a good mood?

**September 23**

Excellent. Brilliant. This is not sarcasm. WE WON! We beat Slytherin. Megan is glaring at me because I'm whistling ever so happily. What a show it was... I think I had a Quick Quotes Quill (say that five times fast) write down everything that was said... let me just find it. Ahh here we go, I'll just use a pasting spell...

Ahhhhh what a beautiful day for a quidditch match. I'm Lela Snape, incase you aren't aware. And yes, Patil, I heard that snotty remark all the way up here. Do you mind, I'm trying to commentate. I'll be commentating today. As we wait for the quidditch teams, it's best I do some announcements their paying me to-oh wait. I'm not getting paid! Sod the announcements! Only joking, Professor. I have to tell all of you blokes and lassies down there that the Head girl is disgusted in your PDA. That's public display of affection in case your a troll. And here comes the teams. First, in a stunning emerald green (and I'm only saying that because I have to), the Slytherin team. That's Malfoy as captain and chaser, Knott as chaser, Zabini as chaser, Lestrange as beater, Black as seeker, Silvertongue as keeper, and Macnair as beater. Quite interesting that Malfoy's whole group of friends made the team, only an observation though. Here's the Gryffindor team! That's Potter as captain and chaser, Black close behind him as beater, Wood as chaser, Longbottom as keeper, Wilkinson as chaser, Patil as beater, aaaand Dickinson as seeker. It should be an interesting game as both teams have new players, in the seeker and chaser positions.

They wait for the whistle.............. and their off. The quaffle is up and Potter takes it, flies left, flies right, ooo right around Malfoy, that'll hurt his ego. Passes it to Wood. Wait... did Potter just pass? That's new... oh, the glares from the fanclub really burn through me. Wood passes to Wilkinson who darts past Macnair and is nearly hit by a bludger and bat! Watch it Macnair, that's against the rules! Aaaaaaaannnnddddd Wilkinson passes to Potter who aims and shoots. It's past Silvertongue! Ten points to Gryffindor! It goes on like that for quite a bit until it started to rain. I lost the other pages in the storm,but here is the last...

YES! GRYFFINDOR SCORES! That makes the score 50 to 30. And what's this? I feel raindrops. Lets finish this up Gryffindor before we get too wet. Malfoys got the quaffle he's zipping down the field and throws but, wow! The quaffle is hit right to Potter by a well placed bludger from either Black or Patil. No professor, I just didn't see who it was, I know they look nothing alike. Potter zips down the field and, it's really starting to pour now. Blimey, I can barely see what's going on now. Someone make it stop a bit! Wait! I see Potter throwing the ball and..... yes! It's past the keeper! 60 to 30, Gryffindor lead. Come on you bloody seekers, lets catch the snit-what's that? The Slytherin spectators seem to have spotted something gold. And they aren't alone. Black has started towards it. But where has it got to? Black seems to see it, and Dickinson is close behind. Meanwhile, Potter is scoring point after point on the idiot keeper! Stop watching your seeker and play, prat. The score is 100 to 30. Black and Dickinson are neck and neck. Yikes! That was lightning! It's getting dangerous out here. Black's reaching out for the snitch, come on Dickinson.

OH MY! Am I the only one who heard that snap? Sounds like that bludger just snapped Black's wrist! That had to hurt! And the sender of said bludger, Black, is cackling merrily as Dickinson catches the snitch! Yes, merrily. Honestly, did you all think he wasn't aiming for her wrist? GRYFFINDOR WINS 250 TO 30! It seems Potter is pulling over to the Gryffindor spectators area.... oh wait, no. He just ran into it. Someone get down there to give the poor kid a charm so he can see through those glasses!

Happy happy happy! heehee. Not even the ever-lasting shadow of failing Transfiguration could spoil my mood! I mean the fact that McGonagall has told me I can't commentate unless my grade improves saddens me, but only momentarily. This smile will not be moved!!!

**September 30**

I should probably explain, more for my own benefit then anyone else's, where the hatred for Black came from... on his part. When I first came to school, life was looking good. My brother had been sorted into Slytherin where he made many "acquaintances" and I had been sorted into Gryffindor where I had made many acquaintances. No friends... just acquaintances. This is when Lily Evans, Patil, and I would walk about and talk. When second year rolled about, the Marauders began to awaken. You see, the first year was just small pranks: a dungbomb here, muggle dye there, but it would seem that all through the summer between 1st and 2nd year, they had been researching for when they came back. The pranks where much more humiliating. This noted, I should say that it all came down to the prank set up for Christmas. You see, Black had a crush on Patil, and she on he, though neither would admit it for Black was already forming a heartbreaker status and Patil was starting her flirting status. Really they'd make a lovely couple, I can just see them cheating on one another every chance they got. Well the Marauders thought of a prank in which they would lure Patil down the stairs and under magic mistletoe, which would make anyone under it reveal their secrets, in hopes that Patil would admit her crush. Charming, I know.

As it happened, the Marauders miscalculated. For you see, Patil had already gone to breakfast when they called for her. I walked down to tell them that she'd left and found myself stuck to the ground, Sirius Black spilling his crush. Unfortunately, the common room was full as he continued to spill more and more secrets, each of growing embarrassment (one involving a night light, ghost story, and wetting the bed rings a bell). Poor Black. I would have felt sorry for him but he exclaimed that I had set him up! Half of the Gryffindor population hated me and, to make things ten times worse, he began playing pranks on me! For he seemed to believe I had tricked HIM under the mistletoe. As if I would ever want to be stuck under ANYTHING, especially mistletoe, with the likes of him. I would be disowned from my beloved brother's family. Well! How rude can you get?! I hate him mostly for the aftereffect of his thinking this: pranks, humiliation, and overall annoyances that come from being such an undeniable git. That is why I hate him and he hates me because he is an idiot to think that I would not hex him whenever he pranked me. This all said...

It is strange that he is sitting right next to me, quietly reading a book across the table, and not making a peep. That's right, I dropped a pencil and it was so quiet that I heard it echo. Didn't even look up from his book. I suspect porn is hidden behind it, for nothing else could get a boy like this one to be so quiet except very naked girls that he wishes for no one to realize he is admiring. My other, and more likely suspicion due to the fact that the prude of a librarian has a nose for filth such as that, is a prank. Honestly, any person next to a quiet (yes QUIET) Sirius Black should be wary. I would tell him to go away, but last time I opened my mouth, just when he sat down to snap that the seat was taken, I noticed his hand, which was bandaged, and my traitorous mouth asked what had happened. He looked at his wrist and said it was simply a sprain. It would be better tomorrow and he didn't want to go to Madam Pomfrey for some nasty potion. Then he sat and began to read. I fear to open my mouth again would reveal something else. Like my need for toast and chocolate or something along that line of thought, my deep secrets. I would move but this is MY table and I refuse to move away from something I had first. You see, dear diary, it's all about power, though, I must admit that with the noon sunlight falling on his head, he does look quite cute. If Megan hears me say that she will squeal with glee and say that she knew, deep down, I thought Black was a hottie. But I don't. I just mentioned he

**Later in the common room**

I have never been so humiliated and angry in my life! I knew that a Black sitting across from me would bring about horrible things. Just as I was about to write how I had only mentioned he was cute, my diary was ripped from my hands by an evil Malfoy (though that's repetitive and redundant). Malfoy, I fear, has a long friend history (and a bit more than a friend from what I hear) with Bethany. He took the diary and flipped through the pages, not truly reading much, and smirked as if it were completely juvenile for a 17 year old to write in a diary. Which is truly offensive coming from an oversized rat such as him. The dialogue went as so:

Malfoy the Oversized Rat boy (known as M.O.R. from here on): Snape, what are you doing writing in this muggle junk. Don't you have any dignity?

Me *scrunching my nose to glare at Rat boy, the most under appreciated villain*: It's quite obvious that I am writing the strange events that have ensued within the Hogwarts castle. Surely the day that Black sits across the table from a Snape without a hex, jinx, or single nasty word should be recorded.*Black looks up* As should the day an overgrown rat walks the grounds, though I have seen it for so many years I hardly think it noteworthy.

M.O.R: Rat? *Oh he was so confused, perhaps all boys are confused by me. I feel so powerful!*

Me: Yes Malfoy, old chap. I fear that overgrown rats are quite frequent here. Alas, I have not enough pages to describe my distaste in your clan. *Did I hear a snicker?*

M.O.R:*Turning pink* If you weren't Snape's sister...

Me: What would you do, Lucy? Feel free to simply go mad. Imagine that I am a blood traitor, for I sense it is on the tip of your tongue.

:*Whips out wand* An excellent point Snape (because I'm stupid and all my brilliant ideas get me hexed or in trouble. Hear my sigh, diary?)

I stared at the wand for a moment before reaching for my diary. More worried he'd use that against me. Sure enough he flipped to the back page and waved his wand, using one of those damn silent spells. He then tossed it to me and as soon as it hit my hands I began to babble about everything that came to mind. How I thought Malfoy should go shove a broom up his arse (adding in a few more colorful words) but how it probably wouldn't fit due to the stick already wedged in there and even worse, how I'd thought Black looked rather dashing (yes... dashing) in his school uniform. I fear I would have gone on and on, tears of embarrassment now filling my eyes (just what I need, crying to make my life worse. The fates are laughing at me, I'm sure), but a knight in shining armor saved me. Unfortunately, it was Black. He muttered "silencio" and I continued to move my mouth though no sound came out. Then he turned to Malfoy and jinxed him into next week. I would have cheered but I was fully and undeniably humiliated. So instead, I jumped up and ran from the library, mouth still moving. Well, I stopped babbling about ten minutes ago, but my face will forever be this lovely shade of scarlet. It is only the end of September and already I have ruined my school year. I am now hiding up in my dorm, curtains pulled around my bed. I think I'll go for a fly. I could use it.


	2. October

October 3

It has now been 3 days, 3 hours, and 50 seconds since the horrible incident and I must say I have done quite a good job of avoiding Black. Oh, the cleverness of me! And it is no easy task, either. For you see, we are not only in the same house but also in some of the same classes. Luckily, I know he wakes up late and can wake up just a bit earlier to eat and be out of the Great Hall before he even enters. Note: it's not considered stalker-ish information if you use it to avoid rather then follow. Also, I have come into the custom of sitting down in the first empty seat in my classes so I do not run the risk of sitting near him. So far I have only been jinxed once from this plan and I got the girl back. How was I to know it was her boyfriend? Apparently she thought I was flirting with the ugly bloke. My bar isn't too high, but it's far higher than him, I assure you. Can't a girl avoid a boy in peace?

Megan, who is sitting next to me, has paused in her moans and complaints about Divination homework (because we wanted an 'easy' class for N.E.W.T.s) to mention that Black has been looking disgruntled. I will humor her and ask her how so. She has replied that she heard, (and you can count on the things Megan hears to be as truthful as gossip can get), that he has been trying to talk to me for the past three days, four hours, and now, one minute. Well, I guess you can't ALWAYS get truthful gossip. I think what he is probably trying to do is catch me to taunt me. Yes, yes. Now, for your entertainment, diary, my scenario of the confrontation, in the style it will best be represented in: soap opera.

_I walk down the hallway; close to tears from the stress that avoiding Black causes me. All of a sudden, from the shadows comes an evil snicker. *dun dun duuunnn* "Snape." he hisses, stepping out and twisting his waxed mustache. "Black" I gasp, looking around for an exit. "You can't escape," he sneers, grabbing my wrists as I try to turn and run. "Get away from me," I moan softly, tears appearing in my eyes (I'm scared. duh). "I can't do that, Snape. Now that I know you think I'm," he smirks an evil smirk and tilts his head mockingly, making his absurdly tall top hat lean to the side. "Dashing." His face is close to mine now and I'm shrinking away. _

Well then I'd probably gag all over him and he'd mention something about paying rent and how he's been seeing my twin sister's aunt, and is really an alien from outer space who is with my brothers child. Megan is laughing as I cringe. But that's how it would go, I'm sure. Positive actually. Oh dear, here comes the alien with child now. I better go, I think I have lessons now....no? Megan says I haven't any. Megan, don't you know I have just realized that avoiding Black will make October far better than September?

I'll find some lessons to do...maybe Slughorn is teaching some 4th years now... I could practice my 4th year potions. It's a plan.

October 5

Ah, the cleverness of me has failed. I suppose I could only avoid the boy for so long. But, my, does he know how to pick his timing! I was exiting the Great Hall, clean and jam-less, when I ran into the bane of my existence. No, not Black. Malfoy. I had been so concentrated on avoiding the taunting waxed mustached alien that I had forgotten about the true enemy. Ratboy. If only my super suit wasn't at the cleaners. Well, my lucklessness did not end there, for behind him stepped his dearest lover and my dearest friend Bethany Knott. The only thing to make this better would be if the Dark Lord himself stepped out and declared that I was to marry him, pronto. Every Dark Lord, after all, needs a Dark Queen with an excellent evil cackle. Malfoy began to taunt in his drawling rat voice as Bethany giggled and cooed that he was so clever to find out I was "smitten" with Black. Honestly. Smitten? The poor boy is sick with a terribly long lasting fever and this is why our feuding has ceased momentarily. As soon as he is well, he will be back to his pranking ways, and I can go back to despising him once more without guilt. I'm sure I will promptly forget how dashing he is in his uniform, which I really must stop thinking about (though it does help me get through Divination). Anyway, it was getting quite intense when all of a sudden I felt a tug on my arm and I was pulled into a portrait that stood behind me. It makes you wonder if he often hides in portraits. And then it makes you ask yourself how safe that makes you feel. Personally, it makes me feel as safe as living next door to the dark lord. Well, I sputtered for a moment, shocked and confused, as any sensible person is when pulled by a stranger into a dark area until he whispered "lumos." Low and behold, there before me stood my anti-knight in dull armor who had now been my knight in shining armor twice. Black sure knows how to confuse a girl.

He did not seem too happy to see me, which made me more comfortable. His being quiet and kind really does do a number on me. My confusion has no end. But at least when he's aloof I know where we stand. Though in this case, we weren't standing for it was a very small hole we were in. He muttered for me to follow him, or that he had a gecko in his grin, but I think it was the first. So I did what every mother tells their children not to do, and followed the hormonal teenage boy deeper into the tunnel. We crawled for a very long time, all the time me realizing that my knees were getting very dirty and my hair mussing up. I sighed and commented on this once, more to myself then anyone else, and I do believe he snickered at me. Insulting to even a troll like myself. Thinking this I mentioned to myself that I needed to study for Transfiguration and I needed to find a tutor. I wonder now if he thought I was going crazy and regretted not listening to his mother's lecture on never going into dark tunnels with crazy hormonal girls. He paused and I ran into his backside. Though Megan would squeal, it is not pleasant to do when you are not expecting it. "I could help you," he offered and I'm sure he had a calculating grin on his face, though his backside didn't show it (which is good because I don't even want to begin to imagine what a grin of any kind would look like on a backside). Not that I was looking at his backside. Can't even get away with saying things offhand like to my diary! "Well-er," I began imagining what I could say to refuse putting myself in such an awkward and prank worthy position. But of course, trolls are not known for their quick wit and so I could only come up with "I'd have to ask McGonagall." To this I could tell he laughed at me as he replied "all right, we will" and turned to lead me to the light at the end of the tunnel, which turned out to be, coincidentally, in McGonagall's office.

Just because I'm paranoid, diary, doesn't mean he's not really out to get me. I feel that all of this could have been avoided if only my scathing look was up to the skill of my brother's, for no one wishes to tutor a scathing troll who spills jam on her lap. Black is obviously up to something tricky and I can't say I like the way the toast is cooking so far.

October 6

Megan has decided that Black and I are meant to be. I don't know what that has to do with the dilemma that faces me, but she has decided to tell me this over our tea cups full of soggy leaves we are suppose to be reading. Who needs to see the grim in their cup with friends like Megan. I don't know what our divination teacher is talking about, these tea leaves look like a bunch of tea leaves all stuck in mounds. Actually, if anything, they look like some tea creature ate and then left it's tea waste behind. Megan says that I'm being gross. I say that it's no grosser then her suggestion. Well, now she says my tea says I will snog Sirius Black in a closet by the end of the year. I think those Slytherin cooties are really starting to get to her. Eating her brain and turning her against her dearest friend Lela (that's me, diary).

She is now very serious and says that she has heard something that the tea leave monster who left it's waste behind for us to read didn't know (ew, that **is** gross). And you can usually trust Megan's gossip to be as truthful as gossip can be. According to the rumor mill that is often overheard in the girl's laboratory, Patil knows that Black is going to tutor me in Transfiguration and is not too pleased. As if I'm pleased about it. Megan says that she and a few of her cronies are planning on how to break up that, apparently they fear that I will bewitch him with potions made by my brother and I under the full moon. Double double toil and trouble, honestly. And I usually think my scenarios are absurd. If anything wins Black over, it will be my sexy cackle and inability to eat food properly in the early morning. Nothing is more alluring then absurdly messy hair and dirty knees. And if they come with a protective brother who hates your swooner, who can resist? Maybe Patil should get her head checked.

October 8

Funny story,diary. Not funny in the 'well that tickles my funny bone' way, but funny in the 'haha, I knew this would happen. Sirius Black is a prick, lets laugh to make me feel less stupid for even a nanosecond believing that maybe he would tutor me' kind of funny. It's actually not a very funny sort of funny. Repetitive, I know. Anyway, yesterday was the day Black was to tutor me in transfiguration, so I went to the library where he told me to be and went all the way to the back where the table was. I sat there for four hours until Madam Pince kicked me out because she had to close. I just sat there, feeling stupid, because he had told me not to bring my book, only a wand. He didn't even have the curdisy to send an owl, who would shit on my shoulder, with a note explaining that he was off snogging a girl tonight, perhaps tomorrow would work better. Insulting. After that, I ran into Lily Evans who is average in Transfiguration as well and had come to work on her homework. We had a long talk on the stupidity of boys and I actually find that I like her very much. When we entered the common room she didn't march off to Patil, but instead asked if maybe we should help one another since my tutor bailed on me. I agreed (warning of my trollness) and we sat by the fire until very late doing our transfiguration and giggling. It was a new experience, I have never giggled with anyone other then Megan. I feel suddenly as if I've cheated on her! Turns out, Lily Evans has far more personality then a friendship with Patil would imply. So not everything that happened last night was bad, I did make a new friend.

Course, that leads to a new 'haha, so not funny' funny moment. That occurred when I walked into potions, seeing Lily waving at me to sit by her and Megan (who looked very unsure about this new arrangement as every Slytherin was shooting her a glare), and as I approached, my dearest brother pulled me down into the seat next to him. I gave Megan and Lily an 'I'm sorry it seems my brother is in dire need of medical help but has turned to me instead' look. I think Megan got it, but Lily was confused, so I think Megan explained that my looks often hold complete paragraphs, once a paragraph that would have filled two scrolls. I'm just an expressive person. As it turned out, my look should have included a 'but he can just sod off as I have decided he should not be my brother, please save me.' But it didn't include that, so my old friend and my new friend had no idea that I was about to be tortured by my so called brother.

Yes, tortured, diary. For we had no sooner begun to chop and slice then he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Lela, I am your older brother, and therefore I must protect you." Oh for pitiesake, older by three minutes! How can he find so many different ways to hang 3 measly minutes over my delicate head? It is an art, I'm sure. Then he continued, "so, I must tell you that I am discomforted by a rumor I have heard recently." He paused to put some slugs into the cauldron, which coughed loudly and spit out some specks of purple liquid, that I artfully dodged. Some protection my brother is, trying to get me with purple specks. He wrote something in his textbook and continued. " I heard that Black is tutoring you in Transfiguration. Personally, Lela, I don't think I approve. He will only distract you." I smiled at him, because he cannot resist my sisterly smile. "Well, lucky for you, Sevvy," I replied happily watching him smirk (yes, I get smirks, no expressionless faces. I am his quirky sister and I get emotions), "you need not worry because yesterday was to be the first session and he did not show up, so, no more tutoring. I think Lily Evans will help me. She is clever." He nodded as if satisfied and I beamed, though I must say admitting Black ditched me felt very pathetic. It was, however, the lesser of the two not so funny things, as this one turned out nicely.

October 13

Today, I decided to surprise my dearest brother and hid in the tree that we were to meet under for lunch. It's funny what you learn while sitting in a tree. Before Severus came, a different visitor came. Remus Lupin looked straight up into the branches and smiled at me. "Hello Lela, what are you up to?" Well, I couldn't exactly say I was pretending to be a squirrel, just to get the feel for it, so I told him the truth and he smiled, saying he was meeting Potter and Black under this tree, but he'd move them away afterwards. Such a nice boy. Unfortunately, Potter and Black arrived just as my brother did and there was a mild stare off. The dialogue was terribly lacking in background music, but if there was some, I'm sure it would have been very intense.

Sevvy: Potter, Black, Lupin, your standing under the tree I need to meet Lela under.

Black: Last time I checked this campus was free. Why should we move for a reason like that?

Potter: What does a girl like Lela want to do with you?

Sevvy: She's my sister for one. Though I don't see why I should waste any oxygen explaining anything to you prats.

Black: Well, maybe I want to wait for Lela as well. I do have to explain the tutoring incident to her after all. I mean, I was walking up to the library and Patil practically corners me-

Sevvy (quite angry on my behalf, how sweet of him.): I do not wish to hear the snog story that I'm sure is about to begin and neither does my sister. If you come near Lela in any way, including tutoring, I will uphold that threat I gave you on the train.

(That explains the whispering my chocolate frogs heard before their tragic deaths on the train.)

Black: Threatening me? *Pulls out wand*

Sevvy: Yes I am, Black. *Pulls out wand*

Lupin: Come on Padfoot, you don't want to do this now. You're already on Lela's bad side for forgetting to tell her about your detention with McGonagol and then getting cornered by Patil and her friends. *He looked up at me so quickly that I think I imagined it. Was that Remus trying to explain for Black?*

Then Remus moved them away and I jumped down to scare the shit out of Sevvy. It was quite funny and he was quite mad. I ended up in the lake, but I pulled him in, so it was even. He was quite frustrated with me, but deep down I know he thought it was as funny as I did. Funny how both Sevvy and Black know that Black is simply waiting to pounce his prank on me, yet they talk as if he planned to date me. Ew! Cooties of the worst kind! Remus has just come over to help me because I apparently look very puzzled with this Arithmacy problem. Yeah for Remus!

October 15

McGonagall came over to me at breakfast just after I had missed my mouth with oatmeal (seriously, do they wait until I'm about to embarrass myself to strike?) to tell me that if I don't get a tutor soon, I'll be kicked out of Transfiguration. She has a strict no more then ten Ts rule, and I'm on my 8th. I am too trollish to handle. This depresses me so much that I will spend the whole of this Saturday dancing to Elvis in the common room while the rest of Gryffindor house is off doing sociable things. Lily has just volunteered to dance with me. Well, stupidity loves company. I'm not sure she is trollish enough, but I shall let her dance with me, we trolls are so kind.

October 17

Halloween is coming up and it seems that Patil is going to have a party in the Gryffindor common room. All Gryffindors are invited, including me (by default, as I am a Gryffindor. Something Patil was not too happy to realize). It's a masquerade, but really everyone is going simply because it will have fire whiskey beyond any leprechaun's dreams. I told Megan and she said it was perfect, that Black would come as prince charming and I'd go as Cinderella and we would kiss and not know who the other was but know that we loved the kisser. I laughed in my dearest friends face, and I mean I laughed in her face in the most well mannered way. We trolls are very well behaved, except around fire whiskey. Oh dear, imagine Black drunk. Boys, hide your Gryffindor girlfriends, the wolfman is on the move. Aaarrrroooooo. Oops, I've just howled aloud and the whole charms class is looking at me as if I'm crazy. I'll just look to my right as if that person did it.

Bingo. Works every time. Poor Peter Pettigrew, just a shrimp of a victim in my master plan to rule the world. Now there are some good ambitions. I should get ambitions like that. I wonder if I can buy that with my butterbeer at Hogsmeade before the party.

October 19

I really thought we were over this, diary. This whole Black being nice to Lela thing. I really was getting comfortable in his new method of annoyance: avoiding me. I think he took my brother's threats seriously, or at least felt embarrassed to have missed his chance to prank me. But alas, he has decided that I was too happy with his avoidance and has instead decided to bother me at meals. I learned my lesson about waking up early, if you miss Black, you get Malfoy. So I started waking up just a bit later, but today I was woken earlier than usual, making me just in time for the lovely browned toast and yummy bacon that isn't too greasy due to the other bacon passing their grease down to it. Those poor bottom plate bacons always get the raw end of the deal.

Since I was just on time there were many people in the hall (including Black), and since there were many people, there were few seats and unfortunately only one seat was free. Next to Lily (yeah me!) across from Black (boo!). So I debated about leaving without breakfast, but my stomach (like many of my rebellious body parts who really only think about themselves, how very selfish of them) rebelled and growled, so I had to sit and eat. I piled my plate with toast and eggs and bacon and was pleased to realize I was awake enough to make it into my mouth and I was actually enjoying myself, since Lily was rambling about Hogsmeade and Black was distracted. But then my pile of food shrunk and what was a shield between me and Black was now only small scraps. Shield gone, he could see me. I thought if I stayed very still and quiet, like a statue listening to Lily, he would not see me. Like they say you should do with a Hippogriff. Unfortunately, like a hippogriff who likes you, he spoke first.

"Morning, Snape," Then he sort of grunted, which I think was from him hitting his knee on the table or being kicked. I hope it was my foot that kicked him if he was kicked. That would be lovely. I don't think it was, though, because Remus gave him a sharp look. Why must you take the fun out of life for me Remus? Thinking this meant he would not talk again I shrugged and replied "Hi." Unfortunately, that was like feeding a monkey, and he just came back for more. "So, LELA, any plans this weekend, LELA?" That's right, he was not just using my first name, but was emphasizing it as if I should pay special attention to it. Perhaps he hoped I'd notice he knew it, but can he spell it? I doubt it. Poor bloke, almost got a gold star, but will have to live with a bronze one. "Um, not much," I replied. "Transfiguration I suppose." It's dreary work being a troll. "Well, LELA, that sounds like fun, LELA." I gave him a look that said he was a complete twit if he honestly thought that it would be fun to troll my way through Transfiguration ( I told you, diary, my looks are very expressive). He changed his mind saying "Well, actually, LELA, that sounds dull. LELA, can I interest you, LELA, in maybe a Quidditch match, LELA, with us marauders?" Well, diary, I was thrown into a loop on this one. Is it stranger for Black to be saying my name with exaggerated emphasis or for him to be inviting me to play Quidditch? I think I've run into one of life's quandaries. The 'what came first, the chicken or the egg' question has nothing on this one. "Well, I don't actually plan my weekends so far in advance. I have a terrible disease called procrastinationitis and it makes me go into very dangerous spasms if I plan anything more then two days in advance. Sorry." In Lela, that means no. It means, I'm sorry, but I'll have to decline. It means you can stop emphasizing my name, because I will not be tricked into your prank, whatever it is. He wasn't the least bit fluent in Lela. "LELA, is that a maybe, LELA?" he asked, and I hate to admit that he seemed rather excited. Excited to prank me! "It means maybe maybe," I snapped, now done with my breakfast and ready to run for the hills.

Lily was simply waiting for me to finish for Potter had been offering the same to her, which she declined by saying she didn't fly. Smart. Not a trollish answer at all. Maybe her smart will rub off on me. I asked her if I could buy some of her smart from her for next time Black annoyed me, and she laughed. Smart people never want to share with Trolls.

October 21

Megan is convinced that Black was asking me out. I told her that was simply the cruel Slytherin talking for her. Those cooties must truly be getting to her. She said that his emphasis on my name was to show he knew it and that we weren't enemies. She said he probably hoped we'd be *groan* friends. Me? With Sirius Black? As if. Lily Evans is more likely to snog James Potter senseless than I am likely to be friends with Black. I stated this and my non-trollish new friend hit me with a wad of paper. Apparently she is as sensitive to comments about her and Potter snogging as I am to any suggestion of a relationship with Black other then one of intense hate. So alike, and yet, so different.

October 23

Avoiding is an art. Lily has said to me 302 times that I am being as cowardly as a Hufflepuff. But that makes no difference. My day of avoidance has gone very well, so I am not deterred from doing it again tomorrow. I ran into Bethany in the hall and accidently-on-purpose knocked her ink onto her cloak. Do not judge me, diary. If you had heard how she was boasting about her cloak to that group of girls, you would have dumped more then ink on her. But I, diary, am a great humanitarian, and so I only knocked ink. And really, it wasn't my fault, because I saw Black coming towards me and panicked, knocking the ink all over her. Mind you, I wasn't too shocked to see Black, as he's in nearly all of my classes, but that is besides the point of the great humanitarian known as Lela Snape. Well, Bethany was not very happy at all. Knott was not. Haha, I made a funny. A humanitarian with a sense of humor, I continue to amaze myself. Note to self: reward Lela with extra toast and the yummy strawberry jam next breakfast. Luckily I scampered out of the room to avoid Black after the ink incident, so all was well. And I really did scamper. Talented.

Later, I took my broom out for a fly. All around the Quidditch pitch and did some loopy loops that Severus hates to watch. He thinks I will crack my head open, which would be terribly bloody. But great humanitarians never spill blood, for it is terribly hard to get out of tile, wood, and especially grass. And if it's hard to get out, it's just not nice or humanitarian like to spill it. I decided to race around the pitch, around and around and around until the world was spinning and I nearly did fall off my broom. But I am so nimble and quick that I caught myself. More toast for Lela! Then I flew over towards the forrest.

It's a fascinating place, full of eery noises and strange smells. I decided I wanted to walk in, as no one was around, but I hadn't gotten more then a few feet in when I met a very, very big black dog. This was a grim worthy dog. It stared at me as if I was frightening it, and I felt so bad that I stepped forward and cooed. Yes, cooed. I could hear Severus twitching with annoyance as I did it. "Hewo wittle doggy. Aren't you a handsome wittle thing. Well, not wittle, weally the opposite of wittle, but who ever cooed about a big dog?" I cooed. The dog just stared at me and I approached, putting my hand out for him to smell (or bite) and realize I was friendly (or food). He decided on the formers (thank goodness, because blood stains dirt and my blood, I imagine, is terribly hard to wash away. It seems that it would be very stubborn to not be removed, much like it's owner), and approached, wagging his tail in the cutest way. I could barely stand it and I have to say, when I petted him and he yipped happily, I giggled. I never giggle. Making me giggle is harder then prying chocolate from my hands. But that not so wittle doggy did it!

After a bit of petting, it looked over it's shoulder as if hearing something and I looked to, I mean if it's a unicorn, I want to see and if it's a vampire, well then I definitely want to know to run. It wasn't anything and as I was distracted, the doggy took the chance to ambush me and not only knocked me down but had soon made my face wet with doggy drool. Yes, diary, ew is an understatement. Except that when I squealed and told him it was disgusting thing to do, it simply barked as if to laugh at me. What a michevious not so little thing! I decided that I would name it and told it so, saying I would think of a name and come back soon. It barked and pranced off, as if it were very proud of making my face so slobbery. I hope my makeup tasted as horrible as my face feels now.

October 25

Avoiding plan was ruined today. Megan asked me why I was avoiding Black and I realized I had no idea. I think it had something to do with Megan saying he was smitten with me, but I decided to forget it. It takes a lot of work anyway as he has a knack for popping out of nowhere. Funny enough, he was in hospital wing today, so it didn't matter anyway.

October 27

I remember why I was avoiding Black, he was kind enough to remind me. He is still playing at this nice guy thing. Really, it's not fooling anyone. Megan and I were waiting for Lily outside of potions and Black smiled at us, making Megan freak out as she usually does and instead of running off, pushed me in front of her as a shield. Unfortunately (and perhaps the poor girl didn't realize this) but she sacrificed me and when I turned around, she was gone. "LELA," he said. He was still doing that emphasis thing. "You going to Patil's party on Halloween?" I replied that, yes, I was. why did he ask? I was very distant, looking for Lily, my knightess in shinnying armor to save me, but alas, she could not be found. The smart are so unreliable at times. "Well, LELA, do you have your costume yet?" At least he wasn't putting it at the beginning and end of every sentence anymore. "No, was she serious about costumes?" I honestly didn't think she was. I mean, I thought she just said it to give a theme. I guess that it was a bit dense to think. I accidentally said this aloud and Black grinned at me. "Well then, LELA, do you want to come help me find mine?" Then, just as I was thinking of an answer that would be untrollish, he quickly added "it's not a date or anything, LELA, it's just that I need a girls opinion so I can impress the hostess and, well, your a girl right?" Rule one, Black, never ask a girl to confirm she's a girl. Just as I was about to give a detailed report on why this is rule number 1, he gave me a look of desperation and I found myself saying "well-herm..." Apparently in crazy prat (which Black is fluent in) that means yes, I'd love to. So I agreed to do something in a language I did not even know existed. He walked quickly away after that and I couldn't say no again (I think it's something like "snum...greegoo..." in crazy prat). I have not heard the end of it from Megan and Lily, who conveniently appeared after the crazy prat left. Traitorous friends and traitorous mouth, why must you mock me?!

October 29

Megan and Lily are convinced I am attending a date to Hogsmeade and are pretending to be very putout. They keep trying to push Black and I together. I pointed out that Black and I getting together for a date was as likely as Lily kissing Potter, and Lily mellowed on the taunting front, but Megan is still going full force. My friend is a terrible person and I blame the Slytherin house. Meanwhile, I have just hissed to them that it is NOT a date, I am helping him impress Patil. I think Patil has overheard this, for she is very snooty and proud today. Yes, Patil, be proud. Perhaps I'll convince him to buy a chicken suit to match your peacock one. Smelly birds of a feather flock together, smelly-like. Megan says that I have killed the English language with that saying and must now go do something to get its forgivingness. Lily suggests reading Shakespeare to the squid. I suggest they jump in the lake.

October 31

I am pausing in my getting ready for Patil's party to write about my day at Hogsmeade with my mortal enemy. Oddly enough, and I dare say, diary, I would poke my eyes out if this were repeated, Black was very gentlemanly and funny. Yes, funny. I- dare I admit it? I don't know if I want to. Deep breathe Lela, it's alright to admit a fluke in the system. I laughed! Not at him, but with him. This sort of unity is very strange.

We met in the entrance hall and he was very quiet, abnormally quiet. Quiet enough for me to worry. In fact, he laughed at me as we got into the carriage with Megan and Lily, as I was being paranoid and looking around suspiciously. Remus told me to relax and Lily agreed, though she was distracted by her efforts to ignore Potter. Megan seemed very out of place and uncomfortable, though Remus was very kind. He actually made her blush. Rarer then a giggle from Lela Snape! Then when we got to Hogsmeade, Black lead me into a costume shop I had never noticed before (I swear Hogsmeade has wiretaps in the school to know just what we students need). He picked out a lot of costumes and told me to pick some out too. He wanted to do a compare and contrast thing, or something. So I halfheartedly grabbed a Marylin Monroe costume and walked into the changing room. When we both came out, he was dressed like Sherlock Holmes. He walked around the store as if looking for clues and actually called the store manager Watson, making the poor chap terribly confused. Then he came out as a turtle, and a chicken. Yes, without my suggestion, diary. I was nearly crying with laughter as he strutted around the store and then asked if he could test it outside and strutted right up to a Ravenclaw girl and asked her opinion. A very charming chicken. After a bit, he didn't come out and I told him he should so I could see his new costume, but he refused and so when he came out in normal clothes I tried to peak, but he was being very secretive. He sent me out of the store and I had to wait outside, working on my pout (which is much better then my wanna be scathing look and glare). Good enough that when he came out I gave it to him and he swayed, opening the bag a bit. When I was just about to see inside, he closed it and strutted off, expecting me to follow. Well, if he was going to be secretive, so would I. I told him to bugger off while I bought mine and he gave me a pout.

He obviously expected me to be swayed by it, but I was not. We trolls rarely are, at least not by rich teenage boys who are acting very unlike their normal selves. So he told me he'd meet me at the three broomsticks and walked off, but I saw him peaking through the window as I looked through the costumes perplexed. I got the manager to shoo him away, saying he was a pickpocket who had been following me. Then I found the best costume ever! Yes, diary, ever. In the history of costumes. It was a pirate princess. It's brilliant. It has an eye patch and skirt with holes and leather and boots. I look so dashing that I could hardly tell it was me in the mirror. It definitely made me feel better about being a Troll (which reminds me, I need to study for my transfiguration test on the 5th). In fact, I looked like the sexiest pirate troll that ever was. I was a piroll (that's pirate and troll) who was much hotter then any hybrid of that nature should be. So I bought it and headed towards the three broomsticks. However, halfway there, I ran into Severus who insisted we go in together. I tried to explain I was meeting someone, but he declared he knew and as we entered I saw him shoot Black a very dirty, dirty look. Black made a move to stand, as if he were ready to resort back to his pratness, but Remus (bless his soul) pulled him down and shook his head. Lily and Megan sat with them laughing with the marauders. Wait? Lily was laughing with the marauders...and talking to Potter. The apocalypse must be coming! Must get ready for party. Will write later about the adventures of Lela Snape, sexiest piroll that ever lived.


	3. November

November 1

Sickness, ooh, sickness, how blue you make me, oh sickness! Ouch, even just singing that in my head makes it throb. I'm debating on whether this is from all the fire whiskey or from an actual virus, but then I recall that, HA! I did not have enough fire whiskey to forget my name last night, so it must be the latter. Well, no worries, it gives me all day to catch you up on the happenings of Patil's party, diary. First of all, everyone came dressed up. I mean, it's not like it was a big walk from the dorms to the common room, but still. You have to wonder why Gryffindors are so weird when everyone really does show up to get drunk in costume. Funny, though, how the angel Patil was dressed as got far drunker then Lela the Pirate. What will the other pirates say? I shall be kicked out of their club for sure. Damn, and before I get that spiffy jacket too. Oh well, I shall start my own club and our jackets shall be far superior. But I'm getting off topic. Lucky for the pirate society, another pirate was present and held up their traditions of drinking themselves into a stupor. I dare say, Sirius Black was a terribly dashing Pirate, with a huge hat (to fit his big head I'm sure) and boots that would make even the scariest pirate weak in the knees.

When I arrived, I noticed the furniture had been moved and people where already dancing, so I scooted my way over to Lily, who had a half disgruntled look at the fire whiskey. It was scary enough to keep anyone under 5th year away from , I told her to relax because she was really ruining her face making it all scrunched up and worried like that. She just looked at me for a moment and then smirked one of those 'ha ha, this is beyond funny' smirks. Cinderella (which is who she was) should not look like that. Before I could point out that Cinderella had a heart of gold so would not smirk like Lily was, she said " so not only did you go on a date with him, but now you're matching? How cute." I must have looked very confused for she took pity on me and paused in her death glare protection of the fire whiskey. This allowed a very wobbily (for petessake, it was only 7:30, too. How long had he been drinking?!) Sirius Black to approach, smiling at us in a goofy manner. "Great minds think alike," he grinned, before whistling at me. I blushed, annoyed, and told him that I had wanted to be a pirate first, so there. He just let out a bark of a laugh and chugged the drink he had before going back to the center of the unvierse, and the party.

This is how the evening wore on, add in some dancing for me and Lily. I saw something very funny though. A stumbling Patil wobbled over (as sexily as a drunkard can in a long dress and angelic wings) to the center where the marauders sat. Moments later, Black and Patil were doing the strangest wobble dance you've ever seen. It was as if they were part of a tribe, worshipping fire whiskey and therefore dancing for it. Remus came over with Potter and as he asked (much steadier then his tribal friend) Lily to dance, Remus raised his eyebrow and took my hand. Well, Lily had no out, so she declared ("with a sigh of defeat, for really he'd left me no other choice," she'd say if you asked her) that yes, she would. But only one dance. Potter brightened and waltzed her out to the center of the universe, Remus and I close behind. As if planned, the marauders all came to the middle (even Peter with his blonde timid girlfriend who really was staring at Black as if he were the god to be worshipped through dancing) and they began to pass us around on turns. I really felt like a rejected condiment, being wheeled from one disgusted person to another. Like horse-radish. Yuck. Then, when we'd stopped spinning we saw our new partners. Lily had revolved around me (overlapping me gracefully, for she is the most untrollish person I know) and ended where she'd started, Patil was now wobbily dancing with Peter, who looked thrilled, Remus now danced with the disappointed looking blonde girl, and I- well, honestly diary, who is left? Yes, I was stuck dancing with the fire whisky tribal god of pirates himself, Sirius Black.

I was getting worried after a bit of dancing, for he was being terribly charming and even put his splendid hat on my head. My fear of pranks went on red alert when he whispered "Lela, so good to see ya. Wish I could be with ya. Hate to have to leave ya." Dear me, diary, in the drunken pirate language, he seemed to saying something, but I am not fluent and so I said, "what?" "Love to go out with ya. Could just talk to ya. Lets go and I'll recite more poetry for ya." Oh dear, diary. It was sweet in a very disturbing about to be pranked way. I must have had more fire whiskey then I had thought. Surely I had had 3 extremely strong cups, rather then my supposed 2 regular ones, with water. Luckily, as I smiled and almost said, "well, Sirius..." (Yes, his first name! A sign of friendship and likeness. I almost used his FIRST NAME!), the clock struck midnight (which is actually 3 in the morning) and he turned back into a pumpkin, leaving me both disgusted and glad I had not taken the first name step. His poetry was dreadful.

He, diary, did not turn into a pumpkin completely, but McGonagall came in and shooed us all out, taking the now empty case of fire whiskey and shouting for all Gryffindors to go to bed or she would give them a party they'd never forget. As she said this, we scattered, but not before Black (note last name) threw up all over my sexy piroll boots. EW! Well, needless to say, I've been to better parties, pukeless ones mostly. But no matter.

As for today, I am sick and I hate it. Lily commanded for me to go to see Madam Pomfrey, but I prefer to let my body battle the flu. Besides, it allows me to sit here, eating chocolate and toast, and study out of troll-hood. Soon, Lela Snape shall be no piroll, but instead, a sexy, sexy smart pirate, minus the barf on her boots. D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.

November 3

Am no longer sick, though I am bed-sick (as in, miss my bed so much that I am feeling nauseas for it, but fear not sexy pirate boots of the world, I shall reframe from letting it out onto you). I managed to study enough that on my last three quizzes for transfiguration, I did not get a T. In fact, I got two Acceptables and one exceeds expectations. Lela Snape is worthy of acceptance. I don't take the exceeding expectation one to flatteringly as I expect the expectations for a troll are rather low. At least it is for their smell (not that I smell). I now upgrade myself to an acceptable person, though not yet a sexy pirate. I wonder where I will be accepted first. Well I was so excited about my acceptance into the human race and out of the race of trolls that I wandered into the forest and looked around for my doggy friend. I dared not go to far in, for what if I ran into some kind of unpleasantness (like a troll, insulted by my leaving it's race), I would surely be lost then. After a bit of looking, I was just about to give up when I felt something nudging the back of my leg and I turned to see my friend. I don't recall if I gave it a name last I saw it, but today I was determined to name him (or her, but I think it is a him). I wanted something noble and good. Something smart, for an acceptable person must prove herself not to be a troll. Naming him Fido would just seem so trollish and dreadful. As I was above both of those (being acceptable), I needed something better. "Hello there, buddy, I am going to name you today, what do you say to that?" Well, he seemed pleased and let out a yip of joy and wagged his tail, sitting amused. I thought and then threw out a few suggestions: Apollo, Regulus, Odyseuss, Jupiter, Heathcliff; all were shot down with growls and sad doggy faces. Well, I'm only acceptable! I don't have an unlimited list of names, so I offered up another heavenly name (as it's in the sky, as if I'd refer to this name as being God like, he already is hot headed enough): Sirius?

Well the doggy barked happily at that and actually licked my hand. But I could only take so much Black in one day and having a doggy friend with his first name would simply make me feel like a stalker. Acceptable people are not stalkers. So I told my doggy friend that I could not name him that because that would be weird as there was a git in my year with the same name and if anyone saw the two of us (that is, the dog and I) walking around and heard me call him Sirius, they would wrongly assume I was in love with the boy and was now stalking him, planning on appearing out of his closet covered in whip cream any day now. Well, the dog seemed unsure of how to react to this, though he did let out a bark of laughter at my whip cream scenerio. I am pretty sure it is a boy dog now. Well, then the dog took it's paw and ran it threw the dirt, and I swear on my dead hamsters grave (and I loved Fluffles with all my 7 year old heart) that he drew a heart. Well, I was shocked and told the doggy that he was a horrid dog friend for teasing my fragile ego, just accepted into the human race from trolldom. He looked slightly sorry, but still barked with laughter so I declared that his name was Snuffles. Yes, Snuffles. And then I spelled it for the doggy dear just to make it sink in. With that I told it I would see it around and had to go to dinner for I was terribly hungry, but I would see him (as in Snuffles) very soon. Toodles to him and his poor name. That will teach him to tease me and my terrible predicament with the pretending boy.

Later....

Well, my calculations were wrong, seems that I was a bit late and when I entered the room, it was deserted. First, I thought this was Black's prank. Haha, let's fool Lela by making everyone invisable. But then I realized that that wasn't possible because behind me appeared Black himself, panting and looking out of breathe. "Damn, missed it," he gasped. I groaned at this, because if he missed it, then it wasn't a prank (for Black's pranks always work in his favor excepting the once that began our mutual hatred). "Lela hungry," I whined, to myself I might add. Black chuckled and asked if I was hungry enough to trust him. I made a face and warned him that I may never be that hungry. He gave me a look of fake hurt before saying, "come on, we pirates have to look out for one another." Well, my stomach talked to my feet before my brain could (for the stomach is far closer to the feet then the brain) and I was soon following the dreadful dashing boy. He took me down to a corridor with a big picture of fruits. I love portraits of fruits as much as the next person (I assured Black of this), but I really did not feel safe in an empty hallway with him. He gave me a very serious look, so serious that the smirk of cleverness that had begun to appear on my non-trollish face suddenly fled, and he said, "I would never hurt you." I have never seen Black so serious in all my life. "Well, I just meant-" I began, feeling abashed and silly for even suggesting such a sensible statement, but he cut me off saying "Lela," and, honestly, diary, my heart skipped a beat from...well, I don't know why; Let's say it was for fear of his seriousness. "Never ever." Well I sat in silence, realizing that I had been holding my breath when my heart skipped (terrible boy was making me try to kill myself without even realize it) and he tickled the pear in the portrait. Much to my shock, it giggled and the portrait opened.

I was shocked enough that a portrait of a pear giggled (how often do you see any fruit giggle?) but I was even more shocked to see that the dreadfully dashing boy was clever enough to have discovered a room full of food. I assume it was the kitchen, but perhaps it was part of his prank. Oh my! He is thinking big these days. We entered and were swarmed by house elves, which truly are the creepiest looking creatures in the entire magical world. They looked so happy to see us and they even knew Black by name. "Mr. Sirius, Mr. Sirius," they squealed. "This," he announced to the elves as they pulled us into the heavenly smelling room "is my friend Lela Snape."

I'm sorry, diary, I had to reread that statement. I wasn't even aware of it. Sirius Lee Black referred to me, Lela Beatrice Snape, as his friend? I'm not so sure how I feel about this. It is a terrible jump to go from enemies to friends in such a short time. I will contemplate it later.

Anyways, they squealed and asked me what I wanted. I asked for mashed potatoes and gravy and turkey and poof! There it was. Well, Black had only asked for toast and now he looked enviously at my plate. I told him not to even dare to think of it but

November 4

Sorry, just as I was getting to the funny part, Patil marched into the room in a terrible rage. I don't know why the rage was brought about, but I did what any sane person would do and hid under my cover, holding my diary near so she would not decide that since Black was letting up (and befriending me?) she would take up some slack. Where was I? Oh yes...

So he was looking rather enviously at my plate and I told him "Don't you dare think about it, Black. This is mine." I was very serious on the matter for I happen to be quite fond of mashed potatoes. I believe it's because they are mashed. There are people who like to chew and people who don't, I just happen to like my food to feel pre-chewed so my jaw has less work. He sort of smirked as if he had been caught (for I am so clever being an acceptable human rather than a troll) and said, "I didn't want any anyway." He then ate his toast faster then anyone has ever eaten toast. I believe he inhaled it and is secretly a vacuum cleaner. He just sucked it right up. Well then I was distracted by the elves asking if I wanted butterbeer and my indecision on how that would compliment my dish. Suddenly, I felt weight on my lap and turned to see Black with a scoop of mashed potatoes in his dirty hands. Who knows where those hands have been?! Well, truthfully, I can imagine, but why would one wish to when there is a plate of food on their lap, or otherwise for that matter? He was so busted.

Before I knew what had happened, I had smooshed the mashed potatoes in his face and was laughing madly, thanking the house elves for the butterbeer. The poor boy was so shocked by my devilish nature. Apparently he thought I was still a troll and unable to think of such a clever trick. Well, he got a sneaky grin and before I knew it, I had a bit of whipped cream on me! Now, looking back I ponder where he got the whipped cream, for one does not normally eat toast with whipped cream, but at the time, I simply decided to stand and walk gracefully out of the door. When he followed a bit after (as I hoped he would since I suspected he was still on his nice kick), I took the whipped cream from my face, enlarged it, and dropped it on his otherwise dreadfully dashing head. Then, I cackled merrily as I ran down the hallway to the common room. Life is so good when you are acceptable.

November 6

I feel terrible. First of all, I have found out why Patil was angry, apparently her boyfriend cheated on her and Lily caught him and told Patil. Poor Patil didn't get a look at the girl and is now out to destroy every human of the female gender. Her number one suspect is, oddly enough, Lily. I guess she thinks that since Lily was the first to notify her, it was due to a guilty conscience. How absurd, for Lily is so not trollish. She would never snog a boy in a broom closet. She would probably go for more roomy areas like a classroom or common room. Honestly, one simply cannot move properly in a broom closet, it is much too confined. So now Patil is glaring daggers at Lily, which is truly bothersome to Lily as whenever someone asks Patil why she is doing it, Patil declares that Lily snogged her now ex boyfriend. Silly girl, trix are for kids.

I also feel terrible because I was in a terribly bad mood earlier due to the fact that I have been brought back to trolldom. Not in transfiguration this time, however, but in charms. How absurd! I leave trolldom in one class only to be pulled down once again. The fates, they mock me so. My terrible mood led to this terrible feeling in the following way:

I was stalking out of the class, glaring at anyone and everyone I passed (excepting my dear brother who I gave an icy sisterly look that clearly said "I hate school!" and was returned with a half smirk of "haha, sucks to be you." That's family for you.). Unfortunately, not everyone speaks the universal language of pissed off and especially not our dreadfully dashing 'friend' (note the quotations of uncertainty at the term in reference to the fellow) Sirius Black. He skipped (yes, skipped) up to me with the biggest smile ever seen on a human face, and illegal in at least 5 states of the United States, saying "Hello Lela!" He then began a long winded story that had no point and ended in me being asked to go flying. Well, diary, I wish I could say I said no. Just no. A very firm, very stern, no. Perhaps even a no, thank you. A sorry, but no. But, I didn't. In fact, I did the opposite. I said, "okay, whatever, just move." Then, I pushed him out of the way and as I stalked away, sarcasm still dripping from my voice, I called back, "AND DON'T CALL ME LELA, BLACK! PEOPLE WHO HATE EACH OTHER SHOULD REFER TO ONE ANOTHER INFORMALLY!" It's really not much to feel bad about, but Megan had been just behind him and told me during our free period that his face went from skipping happy to downright brooding faster then...well, something extremely fast. Sue me, diary, I am a troll again and trolls don't think of witty analogies. I was going to make it up by being terribly friendly at dinner, but he didn't show up, so now I'm sitting here feeling even worse. Did I honestly hurt Black's feelings so much that he'd skip a meal? How vain, he probably was just snogging a girl. But, he's never missed dinner before. I've actually heard rumors of him leaving girls in closets for dinner. The boy is weird.

I can't take it, diary, I'll be back.

November 8

Severeus would kill me if he realized what I did the night of the last time I wrote. I would be disowned or Black would be hexed. Something like that. But I trust you, diary. I felt terrible, so I opened my window and got on my broom (there was a moment of plummeting, but I got it under control without shitting my pants). I then flew around a bit trying to decide where the boys dormitory began and eventually decided that I would knock on a random window and ask for directions. Luckily, I didn't have to do that (which would have been very embarrassing), because an owl flew into a window and a familiar fourth year stuck his head out of his window, totally missing me. Well, I remember hearing Remus complain about the boy for snoring so loud they could hear it through the floorboards and so I flew to the window above it. The room was all dark (as it was about 2 in the morning), but I could see Peter's luminous blonde hair. Boys shouldn't sleep with their curtains open. So I unlocked the window carefully and pushed ever so slightly.

Yes, diary, I was in the boys dorm. How dirty. And I mean that in the possibilities that now presented themselves and the fact that it was dirty, dirty, dirty. I doubt I could see even a minority of the floor. And the mess seemed to accumulate mainly around Black's bed, Potter coming in second, Peter third, and Remus a very far, far last. But no one compared to Black's pile. I tip toed over to his bed (which was relatively easy as his mountain of dirty clothes made it so I was stepping on fabric rather then creaking floors), and looked around. His covers were kicked off restlessly and he wasn't wearing a shirt. OOOOOOOOHHH BABY! That's all I have to say about the dreadfully dashing boy shirtless. Megan and Lily will want more when I tell them this story, but until then, that's all I can say.

Honestly ,diary, I was quite taken with the boy in front of me. My hormones made me forget he was my brother's tormentor and he looked so sweet asleep. You know how they say people are at their most vulnerable in sleep? Black is the most innocent person when he is vulnerable. After a moment or two I snapped out of it and approached ever so softly. I tapped him on the shoulder gently and when all he did was turn over I leaned over and whispered in his ear "Black... come on and wake up. Black?" Nothing. In fact he just muttered something about cotton balls and Professor Flitwick. So I poked him in the ribs with my middle finger (the pointiest of fingers) and hissed "pssst. Sirius. Wake up! I swear I'll jinx you-" well that's all I got out because all of a sudden he not only woke up but grabbed me by my wrist where my wand was and pulled me close enough to him that his wand (which was pointed at my neck) illuminated my face. Talk about paranoid. When he realized it was me, I think his expression of shock actually surpassed mine. "What are you doing here?" and, diary, he actually looked around to make sure he was in the right dorm. Suddenly I felt very foolish, diary. What was I suppose to say? You owe me a broom ride? I ended up saying something like "well, erm, see, here's how it is..." Then I felt so silly for doing it at all that I said, "oh never mind. Bugger it." and I flew out. Ugh, how stupid was I to do that? I must be demoted below troll. What's less then a troll? I'm now the squid in the lake. When Lily and Megan hear, they will laugh their arses off. I have yet to run into Mr. Black because I am very good at avoiding people at this point. Apparently squids are. It's the ink I think.

November 10

Hello diary! This is Lily and Megan. We're watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice after breakfast on a lovely Saturday morning and Lela has left her diary behind in the great hall. She told us once we could write in it, so we are taking her up on that. Don't worry, Lela, we didn't read anything before this blank page. Oh dear, Lily is turning green as James Potter comes over. He's asking what we lovely ladies are up to. I wonder if I can remember the charm to make the diary write what is being said...

_Lily: What is it Potter?_

_James: The captain and Gryffindor royalty visit the charming Gryffindor prefect and her friend? Wait, your in Slytherin aren't you?_

_Megan: Not by choice I assure you_

_James: Where's the third Muskateerette?_

_Lily: Musketeerette?_

_James: Yes, Lils, as in the three Muskateers but in female form._

_Lily: Don't call me Lils, Potter!_

_Megan: Why do you care where Lela is? I thought you marauders hated the Snape family._

_James: I do not hate the Snape family. Sniv- I mean- Severeus and I just hate each other. Not that I've pranked him for anything recently._

_Lily: Guilty conscience, Potter?_

_James: No, but I can tell from your glare that you think I have. Ask him! I've been a perfect gentleman to him recently._

_Lily: As if you could possibly get your big head around such a concept._

_James: You'd be surprised at how fast I learn such traits._

_Megan: Hey guys, shut up. You bicker like a married couple._

_Sirius: Hey Evans, er... who are you? Your Lela's friend, right?_

_Megan: I'm her imaginary friend._

_Sirius: Does this imaginary friend have a name?_

_Megan: Megan, I almost snogged you in the 4th year, but Lela hit you in the head with a hex before I could. Something about oral STDs._

_Sirius: Ooh yeah, I remember you! Wait…oral STDs? Where is Lela, I haven't seen her around lately._

_Lily: You have classes with her, Black, or have you and Potter been to busy with your flavors of the week to look around?_

_James: Why do you always change the subject to how you think I'm a jerk?! I'm really nice!_

_Lily: Whatever, Potter._

_Sirius: I meant outside of classes. Is she avoiding me?_

_Lily: If she's smart..._

_Megan: Probably. But right now she's by the lake with her brother I think._

_Sirius: Yeah? Maybe I should-_

_James: Not until practice is over, mate. HEY! WATCH THE BLUDGERS! THERE ARE LADIES OVER HERE!_

_Sirius: Hey, Evans, back off of being on James' case, all right? He's been way less fun trying to impress you with how he's changed, so just be nicer, yeah?_

_Lily: Black, when you're a gentleman, I'll take your advice on being nice._

_Megan: He likes Lela._

_Lily: Poor Lela._

Oh well Lela, seems like you have an admirer. I say that's good, but Lils says she pitys you. Oh well, you really have to get over this whole avoiding thing, but now we want to know why your avoiding him at all. What did you do this time?!

November 12

The diary has been returned to the rightful owner. Lela Snape is once again in the house (or book). I told Severeus about what I did and instead of getting angry, he laughed at me. Seriously pointed and laughed so hard he fell to the ground (which is saying something because he'd been trying to climb the tree up to the branch I was on). I feel rather torn. On one hand I am rather flattered that I had the ability to wipe that frown that seems plastered onto his face, but on the other, the fact that my situation was so pathetic that it made the king of ice-land (as in land of ice, not actual Iceland) laugh so hard he fell out of a tree means I am more pathetic then any squid should be. Poor Squid of the house of Snape. After he did stop laughing though, he asked what in the world I'd been thinking and I said I didn't know, I just suddenly felt bad for being so unnecessarily mean to someone who had suddenly gone bipolar on me and turned angelic. He said I was an idiot to fall for it and that Black was anything but angelic, which I knew and he didn't have to call me an idiot about. He suddenly got really paranoid as Lily and Megan walked by, saying he heard someone over us, but I said he was being weird and that no one cared about what we were talking about. Then he went on about how after all the things those "stupid prats" had done to him, he couldn't see how I could think any of them would change. I pointed out that they'd lessened in the last few months, I mean the amount of times he'd walked into the Great Hall with a strange new addition or reduction (like a nose, wings, or pineapple head) had jumped down from nearly every week to once in the past 3 months. He glared at me very icily and said that the day Sirius Black came up to his sister (me) and did anything funny (I don't know the extent of that) was the day he slipped a special potion into the mentioned boys drink and had his sweet revenge. I don't know about you, diary, but that would be pretty entertaining, though I picture him making Black do something utterly silly. Oh, now I'm thinking about it, it could be far more evil, couldn't it? What is that Malfoy prat teaching him? Speaking of Malfoy, his lover is coming over. This can't be good, for Bethany and I have been avoiding one another rather successfully. Alas, all good things must come to an end.

Later...

Well that was wonderful. It's so nice to catch up with old friends. Seems that Bethany's birthday is coming up and I got an invite. Funny how intense our charade is for our dearest parentals. The dialogue went something like this (I'll let you imagine the showdown music and scenery on your own this time. Upgrade, I know, but I think you, diary, are ready):

Me: Hello

Bethany: Whatever, look I have to invite you to my party. It's in the forbidden forest, so it's very hush hush. If you tell anyone about where it's located I swear I will get Lucious and the rest of Slytherin to hex you into next year.

Me: As if I'd waste time telling on you.

Bethany: You're allowed one guest and it's a masquerade, but I don't know why'd you show up.

Me: You don't have to worry about it, I've burned the invitation already

Bethany: Good. And if your parents or my parents ask, you had a lovely time and didn't realize what you were missing in Slytherin. They are so classy. Got it?

Me: I know the drill, Knott. But, I don't know if anyone will buy the classy part. I mean, your still in Slytherin right?

Bethany: Yeah, why?

Me: Well, you're as cheap as they come (score 1 for me!)

Bethany: Jealousy doesn't become you Lela, dear. Find your own man and we'll talk.

Me: Right, well I sure hope my man doesn't stare at Narcissa Blacks arse as much as your man does.

Bethany: *huffy* He simply comments on it's monsterousness.

Me: How many times does he have to stare at it before it's looks sinks in?

Bethany: Blow it out of your hole! *storms off*

Let the documents show that the score is me: 2, Bethany: 0. But I would still never go to a party like that. Stupid girl. And giving me so little time to plan too, I mean it's on the 20th. How very, very rude. The least she could do is give it to me earlier so I could make a spectacle about refusing to go. Now I'll just have to keep the invitation and decide how best to be put off by it.

November 14

Got stuck with Black as my herbology partner for a strange scavenger hunt. When I say stuck I mean, ankles jinxed together in a way that would make going to the loo very uncomfortable and awkward. When we were digging by the lake for a certain type of seed that when put in a certain potion makes the drinker shrink (I don't pay attention all that well) we started talking about people who rubbed us the wrong way. I don't know how it came up, but up it came. Turns out Black hates people other than my brother, namely his relatives, but he can't jinx them. When I mentioned Bethany, he noted I didn't use her last name and when I explained why, I accidently let slip of the party. He was very intrigued and asked if I was going to go. I told him probably not (and then the seed we were digging for bit me). Later, after turning everything in and waiting for the professor to unjinx our ankles, he mentioned that it might be interesting, the party that is. I could, he suggest, go undercover since it was a masquerade and even change hair color and all that. Besides, Megan had to go since she was in Slytherin. But Slytherins were dangerous, he noted, and I might need a bodyguard. Maybe I will go, with Sirius Black? Wow... I never thought I'd ever say that. Note to self: must get head examined before any party decisions are made.

November 16

Day approaches, still need head examined. Megan says I should go and if I bring a date, it'll make Bethany eat her words. I think Megan is working with the shrink I will need soon to make massive amounts of money off of the prank that surely looms through this niceness that Black is showing me. Megan says I'm paranoid and needed a shrink before she went into cahoots with one. Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they really aren't all out to get me. Black hasn't mentioned it since though, so maybe he decided that my "that does sound fun..." was a no and he will leave me alone. The possibility excites and slightly disappoints me. Note to self: REALLY must get head examined if Black's not being near me disappoints me. I mean, if his shirt were off, then it would be different, but fully clothed? What will distract me from his git qualities? Not his prat qualities, I assure you.

November 18

I have won a bet with Lily. She said that no one had crazier and more random conversations then me and Megan. I disagreed and said that surely there was someone more random than me. She told me to prove it and so as we were walking to class, we pushed forward to walk just behind Sirius Black and James Potter, but far enough that Potter's Lily sensor wouldn't go off. I swear I'm not lying about this next bit of conversation, honest, diary. Would I lie about a bet winner?

Potter: ... so then she said I had detention because I called her Tootsie

Black: Why would you call her Tootsie to her face?

Potter: I wasn't talking to her though, I was talking to my tootsie roll. What possible reason could I have to say "I love you so much, Tootsie. Your my favorite of all candies, but don't tell Lolli," to Professor McGonagall?

Black: I thought I was your favorite candy...

Potter: When have you ever been my favorite candy?

Black: That magic night on the hill last summer. I felt the sparks and I thought you did too.

Potter: Those sparks were made by you setting my robes on fire

Black: But you admit they were there!

Potter: I admit you have hair.

Black: What?

Potter: Huh?

Black: Come again?

Potter: That's what she said.

Black: That makes no sense

Potter: Because our conversations are known for making sense

Black: Do you have a band-aid?

Potter: Actually, I happen to carry a pack around in my pants.

Black: You ruined my pick up line

Potter: Get new lines.

Black: I can't just get new lines... these are proven to work.

Potter: I notice you don't use any on Lela

Black: And that's why she avoids me. If I did use the band-aid one, she'd love me forever.

Potter: Right, hey do you have a mirror in your pocket?

Black: Not in my pocket, why?

Potter: Cause I can totally see myself in your pants.

Black: Potter, your just not my type, I'm so sorry. My heart belongs to butterbeer and fire whiskey. My love affair between the two is highly secretive, so you can never tell.

Potter: Rejected by my once good friend, I fear we must part and never see each other ever again.

Black: And so, we part.....

Then they just stood there, dramatically looking away from one another for about a minute before Black and Potter noticed Lily giving me a galleon for winning the bet. Then they both looked at one another, then back at us, and waved, pretending to be bashful at the sight of us. "Hi there Lela, Evans. How's it going?" Black asked smiling. "Don't speak," I whispered, pretending to hold back tears. "It's just so painful. I-I can't do this anymore." Black was very confused as Potter tried to exchange a look of confusion with a perturbed Lily due to her loss of galleon. "What are you-" Black began. I cut him off with a "I can't hurt butterbeer and fire whiskey, it's got to end. It's either them or me." Black was still slightly confused but he seemed to decide that smiling through it was best and said "then I choose-" "No," I sobbed loudly, making many people turn in shock. " It's too late. I hope you and Butterbeer and fire whiskey are happy." Then as I turned to leave, I congratulated James Potter, loudly, on his budding affair with Professor McGonagall, suggesting that Sweet Pea seemed a better pet name then Tootsie. Lily and I, then, waltzed off laughing. Some days are just so good you can't help but whistle.

November 20

Well, it's the day of Bethany's party from hell and I still have heard no reference from Black on whether or not he is going. If he is not going I see no reason for me to go. In fact, the only thing Black has done every time I see him (which is often as we still have classes together) is to get down on one knees and swear that butterbeer and fire whiskey mean nothing to him and that it is me he truly loves. He chooses to do this at the beginning of classes so I am able to pretend to be torn and finally turn him away saying that the love square had left me so drained I can't take seeing him, it causes pain. It's all very funny, as most recently he has started popping out around corners and throwing swooning pickup lines at me. Today I found out I was wearing space pants because my butt is out of this world, and my parents must be bakers because I have nice buns. Though I am interested in these observations, I had to tell him that they were not swoon worthy, but that they did make him sound like a pig. To this he replied with something about hoping I'd join him in the mud sometime. I don't even know how that works.

Patil has just entered in a huff and declared that someone is yelling my name from the common room and to get my big head out of my arse and go find out who it is so she can go back to her relaxing evening of spa treatment and voodoo on her ex boyfriend. She didn't say the voodoo part, but I assume that's what the ken doll who looks oddly like him is for. So now I will go down and tell the idiot to shut it, then I shall come back to continue with my train of thought.

November 26

Just woke up in the hospital wing. I can't remember...oh yes I can remember how I got here. It all started when I went down to see what idiot was calling my name. It was a man in a dress robe of dark emerald with black hair and a phantom of the opera mask. "Lela Snape," he announced smoothly. "Will you accompany me to the party that we were invited to?" "We," I asked curiously. He moved the mask to reveal he was Sirius Black, all dressed up. And here I was in front of the dashing lad in my oversize pajamas. Well, I was very uncomfortable as he looked me up and down and said "is that what your wearing?" "Well, you hadn't mentioned it," I reminded him. "So I assumed you didn't want to go." "Well, you know what they say about when you assume..."

"No, what?"

"I don't know. Something about butts. Here." Black pulled out his wand and waved it making my pjs transfigure into a lovely emerald green dress that matched his dress robes quite well. He whistled and I had to blush because I was so shocked by it all. We then went out of the portrait hole and before I knew what was up and what was down, I was pulled into a secret corridor that lead all the way out of the castle and strategically next to the forest. When we finally got to the party, we had only ran into one creature of the forest and I'd told Black about my doggy friend Snuffles, which he took far more pleasure in hearing about then one would think. It was as if he were reminiscing with me, but he couldn't have been because only me and Snuffles had been around. Bethany's party was in a clear spot of the forest with creepy torches that sent shadows around on a flat mossy ground that was a dance floor. It was all eerily strange and not cheery at all. I could spot Megan out of the crowd no problem as she had dropped her mask into the area of rocks that held the trio of instrumentals and was looked a bit embarrassed searching for it. I hissed to Black that I saw her and took a step forward, but then a new song began and everyone looked expectantly at the only couple who had stumbled onto the dance floor while heading towards their embarrassed friend, as in Black and I.

Well of course Bethany is too serious to actually have happy music that allows for dancing farther away from one another, so it was a slow song. It was very strange. Not the slow song, I've heard those before, the dancing a slow dance with Sirius Black. All I could think of was how strange the situation was and how strange Sirius Black had been all this year. Then, diary, a crazy thought came over me. For the first time I thought that maybe Sirius Black was like this and I was being paranoid as Megan suggested countless times. Crazy. I mean, imagine an epiphany such as this in the middle of a Slytherin party, of all places. One would think the evil around you would certainly darken your thoughts and mood, but they didn't. After the song finished, Black and I walked about, mingling. Or rather, he mingled, talking to many people we recognized, such as Malfoy. There was no talk of evil things, just something they kept referring to as "business." But Crabbe did let slip the term "Dark Lord" when talking about the so-called business. I doubt he who must not be written (because I am writing and not naming, see, I am so clever diary) would employ minors as Death Eaters anyways. I expect that they were simply referring to what they would do after school. They were, or are, probably Death Eaters in training, interns if you will. Didn't do any killing and weren't spies, just stretching their networking muscles. I told S-Black (quill slipped) this but he wasn't sure and wanted to dwell deeper, at that moment, however, a giant stag appeared in the middle of the dance floor, looking around, panicked. Well, that got everyone to look in awe, until a rat appeared, making a few girls squeal. But that was nothing compared to the next thing to appear. The stag and rat had successfully chased the majority of people out of the clearing. In fact, really, only Black and I remained, staring. Just as Black began to hiss that we should go, a look of panic on his face, out of the forest came something that looked like a very, very large wolf. Absurdly large in fact. All of a sudden, Black gasps next to me and I look up at him to see him pulling up his mask, looking straight up at the full moon above us. I realized what the absurdly big thing was just as Black grabbed my hand and began to pull me away. The werewolf howled and oooh that howl! It simply sent shivers down my spine. Turning we could see a few lagers, slow runners and all that, sending stunning spells back at the stag, who had paused for a moment listening to the howl. Those blokes had terrible aim. I nearly got hit five times. Apparently I sound like a werewolf. And I run like one? Sadly, I am a faster runner then Crabbe, or Goyle, or someone else who is more trollish then the king of trolls, and when I approached them swiftly they seemed to decide my lady like (dainty, if you will) steps were one of a werewolf and shouted out what I think was suppose to be a stunning spell. It wasn't. It sent out a streak of violet light and hit me so hard that I collapsed backward and the last thing I remember is Black's voice saying "Lela," a blood freezing howl, and then someone (I assume it was Black) lifting me up and carrying me before I black out. And that is how I came to be in the hospital wing, I think.

Black and Remus have just entered, looking very surprised that I'm awake. I think, diary, it is appropriate to ask who carried me out of the forest. I do, in an undertone, and Black gives me a look that reaffirms my suspicion that it was him. I think, diary, it is time to upgrade him to first name. I mean, if you don't use first names with the git who saves you from being werewolf food, what git is special enough to get to hear their first name? I tell Sirius thank you, using his name, and he does a double take. I think he is grinning, but I can't be sure because he's turned, saying he had to talk to Madam Pomfrey. Remus comes over now and looks very worried, wondering if I was bitten and if I'm all right. Did the monster hurt me? I assure him it didn't. I tell him that it was rather pretty to see in the moonlight in a frightening sort of way. He looks pale with anxiety. I don't know why he is so worried. "I'm alright, I really am," I tell him smiling. Then he says the strangest thing, diary. He says he's sorry. I would jest of how I am so insulted he is sorry I'm well and not bit by the werewolf bug and how he is a terrible person to wish my trollishness into the species of werewolves, but he looks so anxious I simply can't. So I tell him that he has nothing to be sorry about and hug him, which is rather weird since I have never hugged Remus before, but all right all the same. He seems no less anxious and I decide it is not over me (which I am insulted over for we all know the world revolves around Lela Snape, that is me). Sirius returns saying Pomfrey wanted to keep me for another week, but he talked her out of it and I can go to the common room after her check up if I'd like. I say I would and Pomfrey bustles over sending the two boys out as she checks up on me. She's scolding me about how many times the marauders, Lily, Megan, and Severus came to visit me and get in her way (not at the same time obviously). I tell her I can't help it if I'm well loved and too adorable for any of them to live even a moment without. She tsks at me and jabs me with her wand very hard. She says it's for medical purposes, but I think she's simply jealous.

November 28

Lily and Megan are apparently very happy to see me as they have taken every pause in conversation to hug me and say how glad they are that Sirius was there to save me. Lily is so surprised by the selfless act, she has actually been very decent to James. Apparently, Sirius seeming to have changed has made her think that perhaps James has as well. I'm not saying they are best buddies, but she isn't nearly as cold. Luke warm. It makes James quite happy. I have decided that since I am calling Sirius by his first name, I will call his partners in crime by their first names as well. Thus the James and not Potter. I notice that although she is luke warm towards him, Lily still calls him Potter, not James. Intriguing.

Talked to Severus briefly, in passing really. We were passing as I was going to the library and he was going to an extra potions class he is taking (god knows why). He says he has something to tell me and it's important and not to tell anyone, but meet him at the edge of the forest tomorrow after my last class. I told him that I have astronomy at midnight. He told me to shut it and meet him before that class but after the others. He says shut it, but I know it just means 'I love your quirks, Lela.' And that, diary, is how you live in an illusion.

November 30

Just stopped into the room before I head off to astronomy and tell the news. My brother had the craziest story. He told me that if his research is correct, the werewolf I ran into was Remus Lupin. According to him, Remus is a lunatic (as in effected by the moon. Such wit, diary, such wit). I told him this was absolutely the silliest thing I'd ever heard. He pulled out a calendar (I have no idea where he'd been hiding it as it was very big and would have given him the appearance of carrying a box shaped baby in his stomach had it been in his robes) and began pointing out the full moons in the last year in a half. He had made a note when Remus had gotten sick and wasn't in class (or dormitory due to overhearing conversations), the day due to sickness was the day of every full moon according to him. He said Remus always came back still pale but recovering the day after every full moon. This was a very elaborate system, and I told him so. In the margin of each month he wrote what conversations he'd overheard from teacher in the hospital wing on the matter and from the marauders. I told him he was a little creepy to be in the Hospital Wing spying on people. He snapped that it's how he saw the teachers lead Remus outside on the night of the full moon. He didn't know where they took him, but he was wise to their game. He just wanted me to know who had attacked me and to be wary of him. "Don't tell anyone, Lela," he told me sternly. "It's a secret." I told him my lips were sealed and he gave me a very distrusting look. You tell one friend about how he wet the bed until he was 8 and he never trusts you again. Where is the family trust? He shrank the calendar and gave it to me before leaving and I still have it. Will look at obsessive weirdo notes later and decide whether or not my brother belongs in a place with nice cushioned, white walls, or is actually right. Astronomy now!

Review please and I'll give you some pie!


	4. December

December 1

What a blah day. Blah blah blah. If I were a frog, instead of croaking, I would have blahed today. I woke up and blah. I went to breakfast and blah. I went to classes and blah. I went to dinner and blah. I went to the library and blah. Now I'm about to go to bed and blah. No pranks, no enlightenment, and no gossip. Has Hogwarts been taken over by absurdly blah aliens who have replaced my fascinatingly quirky peers with dull clones? Oh my! I could be next! Note to self: lock windows before bed. And pull curtains. Aliens can't get through curtains. Everyone knows that, diary. Anyway, it became such a dull day that I actually took the notes my dearest (and slightly crazy) brother had given me when we'd last talked and looked over his obsessive observations. It seems that he may actually have a plausible hypothesis. Before I continue, let's stop to appreciate my excellent use of scientific language. When your as blahed out as I am, diary, you take amusement where you can. Back to the notes though, at first I though, so maybe he had the stomach flu every month for a bit, but then the patterns just kept going and I had to think to myself, wow. I mean you can only get sick off of bad milk so often before you stop drinking the milk. Either that or your intelligence is seriously questioned and I don't think anyone questions Remus' intelligence. Then, his conversation is very detailed and in depth. I would think, had I simply read it without the calendar or knowing my brother, that a master writer had made it all up using characters named after the residents of Hogwarts due to a lack of skill in the naming department. But not only do I have the calendar, I know my brother. And my brother is not the type to waste time making up dialogue between teachers and I think he could name people if he ever did find the need to.

Now I must decide what to do. It makes no difference to me if Remus is a werewolf. If you are as sweet and smart as he is, you could be a cannibalistic alien clone and I'm sure I would accept him. After all, once a month I'm not too pleasant to be around either. However, the curiosity is going to poke at my brain until I find out for sure if he really is a werewolf or if my brother has truly inhaled too many potion fumes. We all knew it would happen one day. When is the next full moon? I suppose it will come down to either being sneaky or trying to ask him. I shall try to blah my curiosity so much that it forgets what it is so intrigued with and is simply ready to die of boredom.

December 3

Am sitting at the breakfast table as Lily practically chirps like the morning bird she is. I assure you, my squint glare and would be scathing look have been to no avail and instead, I have decided to simply pout more and more. She is just so very cheerful this morning; you would think she'd snogged someone in a closet. It's just hit me! She' snogged someone in a closet! I asked her who he was, suddenly far more awake then before. She gives me a look of pure horror. HORROR! No giggle or laugh, a look of horror. Who looks horrified at the idea of snogging? Only alien clones. Just throwing it out there. She says no! Of course not! And then goes back to whistling. WHISTLING! The sun has only just risen! Madness, I tell you. Sirius has just sat down looking as unenthusiastic to be up as I am. He gives me a half-hearted smile before letting his head drop to the table, making the toast bounce. Bouncing toast sounds good. With some jam and butter. Yummy. I ask James what's wrong with his friend and he shrugs, pushing up his glasses and pouring orange juice. He's a bit cheerful today too. Maybe he got snogged last night as well. WAIT! If Lily is cheerful and seems to have snogged someone last night, and James is cheerful and seems to have snogged someone last night... DID LILY EVANS AND JAMES POTTER SNOG?! I ask James if he snogged anyone last night to be so chipper in he morning and HE looks horrified. Maybe I have something in my teeth. He assures me: no! He was busy in detention with McGonagall. I am happy to see that Sirius has taken his head out of his porridge bowl long enough to exchange a suspicious look with me. Oh wait, it seems the porridge covering his face has woken him up. I don't know how it got there. I'm thinking he attempted to eat too soon and found his head preferred the food as a pillow. I've been there. Personally, I'm more of an oatmeal girl myself. The difference is in the lumps.

December 5

I'm wounded by all the daggers I got from walking down the hall with Hogwarts' most eligible bachelor. But I assure you, ladies of Hogwarts, he sneaks up on me, not vice versa. Today's most interesting and acceptable sneak up came as I exited Transfiguration to run into Bethany. The lights dimmed, the hall cleared, and then it was just she and I, surveying one another and deciding what was fitting. Hex? Jinx? Spell? Potion? So many options but so little time. Dramatic music ques. "Snape, noticed you weren't at my party, good to see you know your place." Place? I don't even know how to spell place! I assured her of this and realized it was a bit of an insult to myself, but whatever. "I was at your party. Fancy thing. I've been to better." Ha ha. That's right, you party whore! I've been to better! She looked shocked before snapping that at least SHE had had a date and she can just imagine what loser I had dragged along. A sock puppet probably. It's the only snog I could get. I tried to think of a come back. I mean, I didn't go with a sock puppet; I went with a boy, a very dashing boy who saved my life. But how do you beat a sock puppet stab? It was good. Then, the sock puppet/boy in question appeared behind me as if overhearing the conversation (which I'm sure he had) and said, smooth as butter "Lela, you can't just let her call me a sock puppet. I mean, you invite me to a party and we go and have an alright time, and then I'm a sock puppet? What did I do?" Well, Bethany just stood there shocked and I just stood there amused as he dramatically sniffed and stepped around us. Just as Bethany began to open her mouth with an outraged question for confirmation on what was said, my sock puppet date pulled me by the arm away from the horrid party whore. If the Lela from two years ago came forward in time and read my diary, she would have thrown it down sure that she'd been tricked and that this diary was not from her future self. She would never dream to read herself writing: Thank Merlin for Sirius Lee Black!

Later...

Just was walking over to talk to Sirius after dinner in the common room when Patil waltzed over and practically dragged him out of the room by the tie. What is that? Honestly Patil, clearly he was waiting for me to prance over all lady like and woo him with my womanly charms. CLEARLY! When I next see her...

Later...

Who am I fooling, diary? Not me. I've just sat pondering it all, the whole scenario over my Transfiguration book and I realize that Patil is a very pretty girl. I mean, she's thin, she's always neat, and she's practically perfect. Who wouldn't want to snog her? She looks neat and well kept even at sunrise (again, snoring roommate). I, on the other side of the coin, have absurdly messy hair, dirty knees, jam in my lap, a hated Slytherin brother, and a record of hatred with the snogee. Patil has the upper hand. I can just see how it's going.

*The door is kicked open and Patil pushes Sirius in*

Patil: Sirius, darling. I've been waiting for you.

Sirius: What do you mean, lover?

Patil: I saw you stand up for Snape today. It tore me apart to see you pretend to be hurt by another. I had to tell you that I never overcame my crush on you.

Sirius: From 2nd year?

Patil: Yes. It's sat dormant as I dated my last boyfriend and moved on after he cheated on me. But now, seeing you in the common room with your sexy tie... it just reawakened.

Sirius: Oh, Angel! I've dreamt of you saying those words. Why, I've only been paying any attention to Lela in hopes you would admit your crush! I lust for you.

Patil: I lust for you, Sirius!

Sirius: Don't call me Sirius. Call me*dramatic pause* Senor Casanova.

*Snogging commences*

That is how it went, I'm sure. Except he was using his oddly deep voice and she was using a breathy damsel in distress voice. Doesn't he know her cackle is not at all lady like or perfect like mine is? Whatever, diary. It's not like I care anyways. I mean I hope they have lots of good old snogging fun. Go snogging for Patil and Black! Wwwoooooohhhooo! I'm the snogging cheerleader.

Gits.

December 6

Lily and Megan think I'm jealous that Patil has been occupying Sirius all day and he has only had time to give me a look I couldn't deceiver before being pulled off with a giggle (from her, not him). I'm not jealous. I'm the snog cheerleader, remember? I'm voting ye son proposition Patil and Black. I am on team Patius (that's their names together).

I'm not jealous.

December 7

I'm not jealous. For all I care he can snog the whole school. It's probably better this way anyway; I mean Patil and him go together like mashed potatoes and fire whiskey. Megan says those don't go together. They don't? My analogy skills must be a bit off. She notes I don't try to come up with a better comparison. Laziness does not relate to jealousy in anyway. And the fact that I mentioned that Patil's shirt looks like a baby spit up mashed potatoes on it as a reason she is mashed potatoes does not mean I feel bitter about her position that I was in a few days before. Not like I was using that position and attention for anything. I was just letting it sit.

I can't help it if I'm just a person who is very good at observations. I'm not jealous.

December 9

I'm tired of thinking and imagining all of Sirius and Patil's lusty snog sessions and will instead talk about something else. Let me see... Lily and Megan have decided it's no use trying to convince me that I'm jealous (which I'm still NOT!) and James and Lily are still being nice to one another. Megan and I have decided they didn't snog. They are simply casual to one another. Not after snog nice...just nice. But what do I know? Maybe I should watch how Sirius and Patil act next time I see them. No. I like to keep my lunch down.

Oh look! Remus! I'll call him over and talk to him. Distractions are good.

Later...

Had a nice long talk with Remus. We have much in common that I didn't know about. After talking a bit, and when the librarian sent us out, we walked outside ever so stealthily. Who knew I was so sneaky? Not I! After that we just went back to common room where I had my arse handed to me in wizard chess. 3 times. Because once is never enough. It was fun. I bet I had more fun than Patil and Sirius. Not that it's a competition. I mean, I don't even think about it. Sirius who? Patil what?

December 11

Last night, just before falling asleep after hanging out with James and Remus and Lily while Sirius was dragged off by Patil (for the 3rd time that day. Not that I'm counting...), I remembered how after the whole party ordeal I woke up and Remus apologized. He had looked so solemn and serious I hadn't cracked any jokes, but I couldn't understand what he was so solemn about. Last night it hit me. What if HE was the werewolf? Was it possible? If my brother's obsessive notes are right, it's likely. Now that I remember, is it normal for a stag and a rat to be around a werewolf? I think that's probably a different question though.

I was thinking about it and when I was talking to him after dinner tonight he told me how there was this crescent moon tonight and a comet. Prettiest comet you'll ever see, he says. So we went up to the astronomy tower with Lily, Megan, Peter, and James. We all sat there and ate some dessert with half of the Hogwarts' population (almost all couples). Megan left because Peter was trying to flirt with her and unfortunately he walked her to her common room. Then James fell asleep while Lily went to scold some snoggers. While they were all distracted, I thought I'd just go for it and turned to Remus. "Hey, Remus." I said. He turned and I told him it was okay. He looked really confused so I elaborated. "When I woke up after the whole party thing, in the hospital wing, you said you were sorry. I think I know why now, and I just want you to know that it's okay." He was lost for a moment and suddenly I was thinking maybe he hadn't said it. I remember hearing about these stories where muggles take too much of their medicine and it makes them dopey and sometimes hear or see things. Maybe Madam Pomfrey got me high on Viking or whatever it's called. But luckily, he suddenly understood and asked me how long I'd known. I told him only for a little and I hadn't told anyone. Then I asked if the marauders knew and he just nodded and looked back at the comet. Wow, diary. Who knew my brother could be right? Wowzers! An owl just flew through my window!

It has a note from Megan. Says: Pettigrew is a twitchy rat, ew. On a happy note, Ms. Not Jealous, I overheard Mr. Jealous talking to James. Apparently someone you haven't been jealous over wishes you'd watch a comet on the astronomy tower with him. And I don't mean Patil!

The girl loses her mind daily, I assure you diary. Clearly she is high on Viking.

December 13

Sirius Black is the single most annoying git I have ever had the misfortune of being saved from a werewolf by! I was simply sitting in the library concentrating on my potions homework, innocently, when the marauders came in and he all but attacked me! I only innocently said "hi Remus." If I'd know that was the flip out sentence of the day I wouldn't have done it, I assure you. The maniac in question, after hearing my innocent comment, marched over to my table and started pestering me.

"Heard you went to the top of the astronomy tower with Remmy there."

"Didga snog?"

"Was it good?"

"Gonna do it again?"

"Tonight? I hear there's a snog opening tonight."

What is he going on about?! HE'S the one snogging Patil. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, and that just made him into more maniac-like! He had these deranged eyes and started asking, "no? Really? That's funny cause I'm sure if Remmy asked, you'd know what he was talking about." Then, "don't know what I'm saying. What do I care? I mean I only saved your life!" Then he snatched my diary and began flipping through and shaking it. "Any love letters from precious Remmy? I suppose that's what you were studying." Oh for Merlin's sake. Sirius Black lost his mind just there in the middle of the library. Well, I, a sane and innocent bystander, was not going to put up with that and grabbed my diary. "We did not snog, you git. We watched a comet and Megan, Peter, James, and Lily were all there as witnesses. In fact, the only one who wasn't there was you!"

I started packing up quickly as he just stood there with this annoying look as if he didn't believe me and was so clever to have figured me out. "Besides, your the one skipping off and snogging Patil every waking moment for the past week! Now get out of my way you annoying arse!" Then, I shoved him out of my way. Honestly. Accusing me of snogging Remus on the top of the Astronomy Tower! After being jealous all week over him and Patil... shit. I did not just write that, diary. I'll be burying my head in sand now.

December 15

Sirius refuses to look me in the face, which is terribly sad, as I can't imagine why he's acting like that. I'm the one who has just realized I was wishing I had been snogging my worst enemy. Severus would disown me. I asked James what the matter with the poor boy was and he just gave me this look as if I was the daftest girl in the world. As if any of it is my fault. I'm the victim here, Potter! I'm the one who just realized I was pining over my worst enemy. Who saved my life. Buggers to him.

I asked Lily what was the matter with Sirius and she asked why I cared. I said I didn't, so she said she wouldn't tell me the answer. She told me to just ask him. I told her I didn't care I was just curious and she just shrugged with a smirk. I told her that she and Potter were perfect for one another because they were both annoying gits and she just laughed in my face. My poor, poor victim face.

December 17

I woke up this morning in a terrible mood. I think it's a mixture of this weird guilty feeling I'm getting from Sirius not talking to me (still don't know why) and lack of sleep due to snoring that is outside of my range of control. Just as I was getting really angry at the not talking thing and was about to march over to confront him, I was pulled away. I kid not, I got up from my desk as we were all dismissed and was rushing towards him in the hall and had just said "Sirius, one sec-" When _WOOSH!_ Like a hawk my darling brother, Master of Bad Timing, grabbed my arm and whisked me off. Damn! He wanted to talk about Christmas plans. He usually stays, so when he said discuss Christmas plans; I knew he meant where to send me.

Usually I go to some relative or friend far away instead of the house of Snape, so full of arguing and annoyance. Severus really looks out for me in that department, as I am too lazy and too uncunning to skillfully get parental permission to do it. It's quite nice of him and makes him my protector. However, it makes him very isolated. So this year I told him I'd have Christmas with him. I already have a present for him so I may as well stay.

Now that Christmas is on my brain, I must get a present for Lily, Megan, Mother, Father, and... I don't know. Should I get one for the Marauders? Not one for all of them obviously, but you know what I mean. No, I'll just hit them with snowballs. Who knows, they'll probably all go home anyway.

December 19

Signed up for the stay list and noticed (couldn't help but notice) that Sirius was staying as well. Lily is not, nor Megan. But it seems that Sirius is. Patil isn't (not that I searched for her name after noticing Sirius'). Apparently the whole Gryffindor tower will be for just me and Sirius, and possibly that 4th year who I forget the name. I just remember her as the girl who blatantly coos when Sirius passes. At least he won't be attention deprived because Merlin knows he is doing such a good job at ignoring me that he'll need attention somewhere else. I think that made less sense on paper then in my head...

December 20

Hogsmeade was today. Megan and Lily and I were walking about looking for gifts and after Megan shooed us away to get us presents, Lily and I had a strange moment. We were walking towards the three broomsticks when we passed Zonkos and we both stopped. I said, "you know, maybe Severus would like something from here. I'd better go in...." I knew that she knew I was lying because obviously Severus would not like anything from Zonkos, but she simply surveyed me before accepting the excuse and entering the store. We were browsing very cautiously when we overheard the Marauders in the next aisle. Basically went like this:

James: Padfoot, you know my parents would love to have you come and stay...

Sirius: Nah, it's all right. I like the idea of staying this year.

Peter: Because of someone else staying? Ouch! Don't hit, Padfoot!

Remus: Sirius doesn't like when you point out the obvious.

Sirius: Shut up! I just want to stay, all right.

James: Fine. OH LOOK! This would make an excellent prank. Pants that turns invisible.

Remus: What prank would we do with those?

Sirius: Obvious we would show the world someone's terribly embarrassing underpants finally answering the age-old question of boxers or briefs.

Peter: Snivellus probably wears briefs, we should find out.

James and Sirius: No.

Remus: That was very forceful, any reason you two don't want to prank him?

James: I just think we need to lay off of him...

Sirius: *mutters very low and incoherently*

Then they walked past and we ducked and noticed they didn't buy anything. We looked at one another and creeped into the aisle they had been in, looking around. Eventually I got invisible pants and a belt buckle with a dog print for my brother and dad. Yes, my brother and dad. Is it a crime to buy a present for Severus and my father? It is a show of compassion and love, for my father and Sevvy, I mean.

December 21

Classes ended today and soon everyone will be shipping off back home. Except for me. I went to the kitchen and talked to the house elves to get their permission and help in making this fancy chocolate treat that Severus adores. They agreed, though the concept of helping and not doing had to be explained a bit. I love this time of year... so close to Christmas. I'm not like Severus who hates all the merriment and exaggerated happiness. I am the Cindy Lou Who to his Grinch. Mistletoe will soon pop up around the castle; portraits will work on their fa-la-la-las and then yum, the food. I've never stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas, I wonder if the food is good... oh! The students are leaving... I better go say bye to Lily and Megan!

December 23

IT SNOWED! I woke up to a blanket of happiness and after throwing on layers and a few heating charms I hastened outside. No one was there! What is the matter with people? Honestly! So I built a snowman and then a snowwoman. Then I built a snow desk and a snow teacher and soon I had a whole snow classroom. I was getting kind of hungry as it was getting towards lunch and I had had no breakfast so I left my educational art and went to see what was cooking. I noticed that Sirius was one of the few people sitting at the table eating what looked like soup. So I sat down across from him and bit into an apple as I noticed he looked like he'd just woken up. JUST WOKEN UP! It was at least noon by now! And it having snowed! Honestly. What do I do with the poor boy? I asked him how it was going and he looked up at me, blinked confused, and grunted. I think that's morning talk for "why quite good old chap. How is it going for you on this lovely snow covered day?" So I answered. "I built a snow scene! You should see it. It took me all morning but it has a girl, a boy, a teacher, and some desks. I even think I'll charm an apple to float where the teacher is." I was very excited about the plan but realized he didn't care.

You know those looks, diary, that you get when you are completely and overly enthusiastic about a brilliant plan and the bugger you're telling simply lacks all gusto? This is the look I was getting. He simply could not understand what was so great about this plan. "It's cold," he nodded. That's all the enthusiasm he could work up for my idea and creation. Insulting. Then, after seeing my look of complete despair as his comment had suddenly diminished my own gusto, he simply stood and said, "I'm going back to bed." WHAT?! Then he left just like that. If I hadn't needed my apple I would have thrown it at his head.

After finishing my apple, I took another and charmed it to float in my snow scene making it look like the teacher had just taught the bright and filled with gusto snow girl how to levitate, while the lacking gusto and completely unenthusiastic snow boy sat by and watched, wishing he were back in bed and slowly stealing the girl's gusto. Well, I just couldn't stand such a scene, so I made a snowball and aimed it right at the snow boy! It made him look like he had a very big boil on his eye. Lovely. I have now been writing for about ten minutes after making a snow angel and I think my bum has lost all feeling. Can you get frostbite on your bum?

Later...

Well, diary. I did it. I got tired of the grunts and avoidance. I was sitting there thinking about how numb my bum was after I stopped writing and had shrunk this diary down and into my pocket when I noticed that the tower I was looking at was the Gryffindor boy's tower. So I made a big pile of snowballs and rushed to get my broom. I flew just out side of the gusto stealing boy's room. I then used a levitation charm to throw snowballs at the window until the groggy boy opened it and nearly fell out of the window from the shock of seeing me. Especially when I hit him with another snowball (because water always helps a shocked person regain composer and snow is water. Technically).

He yelled at me to stop and I thought about it, but not stopping was so much more fun! He threatened to come out and get me, which made no sense because he would fall and hit the snow and hurt himself. His gusto stealing ways must be affecting his brain. And apparently it was, because he lunged at me through the window! THROUGH THE WINDOW! As in, I was floating and he lunged from his window. When I caught him on my broom, he flipped it over and we both landed on my snow scene, destroying both the snow boy and snow girl. Lucky I had caught him just a few feet above ground or we'd have bigger problems then aching muscles. He came over all worried, seeing if I was okay. I pretended not to be until he was so close that I could put a bunch of snow down his back! Ah-ha! Genius such as mine is so rare these days! Then it became all out snow war and soon we were hiding and running and ducking and getting very cold. It was quite fun.

Eventually, he called that he was tired and needed to eat. He couldn't feel his fingers, he said. This was the second time he'd said such nonsense and the first time ended with me covered in so much snow that I was practically a snow girl. This time I simply kept firing. Apparently, he was serious though because he tackled me when I was trying to retreat. There we sat, both out of breathe from running and ducking, and tackling, and suddenly I could feel my legs very well because his weight was on them. It was all very strange. I told him, "that's cheating. Tackling..." He simply looked at me. It was very strange. I would have loved to have kissed him then and he seemed to be thinking the same thing because he leaned forward searching my face for… I don't know... orally transmitted diseases maybe? Anyway, just as I was thinking of leaning up to kiss him (just for curiosity sake, for who really wants to kiss a gusto stealing boy whose snogged Patil?), an owl flew and hit him right in the head making him mutter angrily and completely killing any moment that may or may not have been. The owl didn't even have a letter; it was just blown by the wind into the biggest object around, his head. Old thing too. Bloody owls, I swear. After that, we just went to dinner, carrying the poor thing with us until we were inside and it flew off to the Owlery.

Now I'm in the Common Room by the nice toasty fire who is kindly making me able to feel my toes and feet again, as Sirius lays across the chair in a very uncomfortable position but... did I just hear a snore? I did! He's asleep! What a lazy gusto stealer! I can't help but laugh a bit as he is drooling and has just growled like a dog. Perhaps he thinks he's chasing a raccoon. The way he's sniffing, he's obviously on a scent. I guess I'll go up to bed as well. Just find a blanket for the puppy and then I'll be off.

December 25

Severus loved his present of fancy chocolate things. In fact, he loved them so much that I think he squealed a little. Yes, squealed like a little happy piggy! Okay so I've had a bit too much sugar, but it happens on morning, before all the chocolate, an owl was tapping on my window quite annoyingly. After hearing for an hour and trying to ignore it, I got up and opened the window, letting it drop a note that read simply: _come to the Common Room. Bring presents_.

Well, who can disobey such a forceful command that wakes you up? Lela Snape can! I went back to bed only to have the owl fly in again and drop a second note:_ Come on Lela! I'm Sirius about this! _When I again ignored the harassment, mostly due to the bad pun that my dear gusto stealing friend had submitted my eyes to, I heard the sound of the stone stairs turning into a slide and decided that if he was stupid enough to try to come up the stairs to get me, I may as well slide down.

After opening presents (I gave Sirius the invisible pants and belt buckle because, I mean, how many presents does Severus need? Besides, my father would not have enjoyed the humor of invisible pants) I told him I had to go visit my dear brother. Luckily that was when the cooing 4th year I don't recall the name of came down bleary eyed and began cooing. So despite his look of despair, I feel I left him in good hands. That in mind, I went to my brother and after stealing a few of the chocolate yumminess, I was heading back up towards the warmth of my Common Room with the assurance that we'd sit together at dinner and have great amounts of family fun. As I was going, however, the suits of armor decided that I looked blue. I was not blue; simply contemplating how many chocolate thingies I had eaten. Was it enough? Was it too many? Is there really such a thing as too many chocolate thingies? These questions haunt me. They (the armor) began to group around me and....dare I say it? Sing! Just for any record that needs the information, suits of armor cannot sing particularly well. And when portraits near by join in, it's dreadful. A few corridors have had rave reviews but this was not one of them. Just as I was starting to think that my ears were surely bleeding, the statue I'd been backed up against opened at the hump and a mysterious person or thing (perhaps the angel of chocolate thingies) pulled me into the darkness. Sweet, sweet, sweet silence.

Well, my sigh of relief seemed funny to my rescuer who chuckled. "That's what you get for leaving me with that fourth year, Darla." Ah. My rescuer was Sirius Black. He seems to be getting a reputation. "Ever so sorry, my hero in white," I assured him as I followed his voice. "That's alright. I'll still give you your present." Ooooooh present! For me? We crawled for ages until he pushed open a trap door and ta-da! We were in a basement full of candy. "You got me a candy filled basement?" I asked. "No..." he paused and lead me quickly up the steps. When we arrived outside of the shop, he pulled from his pocket a flower with little red dots on it. It honestly looked like the poor dear had chickenpox. Well I was rather baffled and finally asked (as we walked out of the three broomsticks hours later) "you gave me a diseased flower?" He seemed lost until I held it up. "Is this a prank?" "No," he assured me, a half smirk on his face. "Because I don't want chicken pox, Sirius. I really don't," I told him, following him into Honeydukes. "You're over thinking it." "You never know with you marauders though. Maybe you didn't appreciate the heartfelt gift of invisible pants and have decided to get me back..."

"Lela! Just look at the flower!" We had now exited the humped statue and were standing in the light. Slowly the dots began to change into little hearts. I observed this out loud and got a roll of the eyes and a nod. Patronizing. "You gave me a loving diseased flower?" "Don't be a git," he barked with laughter. I am so funny to him. And he is so cute when he laughs (I am a little worried how comfortable I am complimenting him in my head now). "It's spotted," I reminded him as if this explained all my suspicions, which it did. "I KNOW! It was a spell," he sighed with humorous exasperation. "A hex? A jinx!" Now I understood. But do you know what he said then diary? "Shut up or I'll kiss you, Lela."

Just like that. Out of nowhere. Honestly, one second you think you're talking about diseased plants and the next you're being threatened with (or promised) a kiss! Well, I have never been one to listen to threats, so I said, "threats are not romantic." He stepped closer, putting his hand on my cheek. "Should have stuck with the diseased plant. After all-" I began but I didn't get to finish because

December 26

I left you hanging Diary because I liked the idea of you being in suspense. Then this morning, I realized that your a book and can't feel suspense and so it was wasted on you. Anyway, Just as he looked as if he was about to kiss me, Darla ran past me and knocked my shoulder from the front so I was forced to step back. Wretched girl! Then to make matters worse, Severus appeared as if by magic and pulled me to our family dinner. When the Cosmic Forces go against me, they really go all out.

But wait! The Cosmic Forces weren't done! Today, Sirius randomly disappeared. I woke up and an owl sat at my window with a note. It said: _Lela, had to go home (my home...weird since I'm disowned, I know) for some business or another. Apparently I did something so disgraceful to the family that I am being counted as family. See you later,_

_Sirius._

Honestly! Now I'm all alone! I guess I'll hang out with my brother or *gulp* do homework. WHY COSMICS? WHY?

**REVIEW!!!!!!!**


	5. January

A/N: Sorry it's so short and it took so long to update! Lots of schoolwork that has to be done! Blame my AP chemistry teacher!

January 1

I can't decipher, did Sirius and I kiss? I've been playing the moment over and over in my mind and now I can't figure out if we did or not. The entry above says we didn't. Drats and double drats. I haven't written for a bit for you see I have had nothing to write about. But today Megan and Lily returned and I am here to tell you that I have had no owls from Sirius! None! Maybe I'm over thinking this whole almost kiss thing. I mean, we didn't even kiss and I'm already insulted he hasn't sent an owl. I want to know what made him be called home. Regulus is back but he isn't. Oh my! What if they called him back to kill him! Oh MY! I didn't stop him or anything! He could be dead and I didn't even kiss him! That came out way shallower then I meant it. What I mean to say is it would be just like Sirius Black to finally become your friend and almost kiss you and then just as your replaying it over and over go get killed. He and the cosmic forces are in cahoots! CONSPIRACY! Lily tells me to calm down. Megan says I really like Sirius. I say this is me calm and I just hate conspiracies and want my kiss. Is that too much to ask for?

January 3

Sirius came back late last night. At least, that's what James says. He looks as if he hasn't slept for days, but oddly satisfied with himself for some reason. Maybe we did kiss and I just don't know it yet. No, nix that, I'd know. I'll ask him now as he has just slumped in next to me.

Later....

Well I asked and originally he was called home to try to talk his older cousin Andromeda out of marrying a muggle. Of course he told his mother that he wasn't going to do it and that Andromeda could marry whomever she pleased. His mom officially burned him off the family tapestry (whatever that means). I asked him why he took so long to come back. That fight seemed to only take up four days at the most. Well, then this weird thing happened. He raised his tired head, smiled, and began to tell me about how Andromeda's friend wanted to start a teen club pretty close by the school. Fairly casual and basically open on the weekend when Hogwarts students could go and dance. It would be in Hogsmeade and would be fun. It would open later this month and he invited me to go opening night. Opening night was going to be semiformal or formal. A bowtie affair, as he put it. But all of this was not weird. What was weird was this whole time he'd been telling me this he'd moved his hand from his lap to be placed on top of mine on the bench. Shocked me a bit. Literally. I mean my hand tingled. I think I missed a joke he said but I laughed like I'd heard it.

Then, to make things weirder, I stood to go to class and he grabbed my books before I could and carried them. I told him he looked dead tired and he didn't have to, I was a modern woman who could carry books with my modern feminine strength, but he just laughed and said it was mans work. Patil walked past and gave me the dirtiest look. It was great! And yet no kiss for Lela. Cosmics, you are funny funny forces. Later, in class, we found our books mixed up and had to sort them. Silliness.

Lela sighed looking around the library over the pile of books she had in front of her. "Megan, why is Patil glaring at me like that? Do I have a hideous wart on my otherwise gorgeous face?" Megan looked up, pushing her wavy hair from her face. "Wart less as always, and its good to see that Sirius didn't crush your ego while I was gone." The two girls began a classic exchange of looks.

Megan begins by giving a look that says, as clear as day "Honestly, Lela, you stole her best friend and now her love interest, of course she hates you." Lela replies with a look of "That is no reason to hate me, I'm a lovely person. And she chased Lily away." Some people say looks speak volumes, our look amps go to eleven. Lily laughs as she sits down next to Lela. "So how were your Christmas vacations," Lily asks opening her book as if she's ready to study, though all three girls know it will be the last thing to happen. "Mine was alright, same old same old," Megan shrugs. "Well, lets see," Lela says thoughtfully. "Made snowmen, had Christmas with my brother, almost kissed Sirius Black, was attacked by singing suits of armor, had a snowball fight-" "Wait! What?" Lela looked shyly at her two friends, books now forgotten as they gaped at her. "You nearly snogged Sirius Black," hissed Lily as if everyone in the library were curious in the escapades of Lela Snape. "Not snogged, Lily," Megan corrected, "kissed." "Twice," Lela admitted guiltily. The girls giggled nervously, as if unsure of what to make of this development. "Tell us everything...." Lily began. "Yes," Megan agreed. "How did your paranoid loathing turn to unbridled lust?" Lela blushed in annoyance. "It's silly and I don't know," she sputtered, reaching into her bag. "How about you just read the two entries on it in my diary." "But, you never let us read your diary," Megan whispered as if to suggest it was to commit sacrilege. "Well, this once," Lela snapped, reaching into her bag and searching for her diary. "We are not worthy," Lily cooed, making bowing motions that sent Megan into silent giggles. Lela's expression of amusement suddenly turned to one of fright. "I can't find it."

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!


	6. The end of my otherwise uneventful life

All three girls stared at one another. "I can't find it, my diary," Lela hissed, biting her lip with anxiety. She emptied her bag on the table along with her pockets and they searched through the things, looking for either a shrunk or regular sized diary. It was nowhere to be found. "Oh bloody hell," Lela cried, making Madam Pince glare at them. She then shot up from the table and rushed out of the library.

For the next week, Lela nearly destroyed every room she sat in looking for her diary. It was not the fact that her diary held her many many quirks and strange ramblings that bothered her. It didn't even have too many secrets in it. But the ones it did, Remus' for instance, were things she'd prefer other people not find out. Besides, she did have one enemy, Bethany Knott, who would recognize and thank the gods of firewhiskey for finding the diary, should she find it first. Besides, Lela thought. If someone like Sirius read the first few pages in which her eccentric loathing was written, she may never get that kiss. She paused to worry that perhaps it would change his feelings from hopes of kisses to hopes of pranks. But, of course, the cosmics were out to get her. Half way through every search she would be interrupted by someone and have to humor them for as long as possible, careful not to say she was looking for a diary.

The most amusing pause came when she was searching the common room. Sirius' 4th year stalker, Darla, stood right in the way of where she was trying to search, in what Lela thought was suppose to be a towering rage. Unfortunatley, since Darla was shorter then Lela, the towering was not very effective. "Where is my Sirius-poo?!" Darla snarled threateningly. Lela snapped that she didn't know where her Sirius-poo was and that she was busy but Darla would not move! Lela, deciding to be an understanding and compromising person, tried to step around the 4th year, but found Darla blocking her way again. "Tell me! Where have you hidden him. Just because he likes me more then you doesn't mean you can hide him. You can't stop our love!" Darla proclaimed loud enough for every person in the common room to look over curiously. Lela, caught and beaten, told her where she'd hidden Darla's Sirius-poo. "See that blonde boy over there? Peter Petegrew?" Darla nodded. "I made him look like that, that's really Sirius-poo." Darla cackled triumphantly and ran off to coo over her very confused Sirius-poo who was in fact Peter-poo. Though Megan would have argued that he was just poo.

As Lela was about to continue searching, she was grabbed by an invisible hand and suddenly found herself in the boys staircase. Out of nowhere popped the real Sirius-poo, scaring Lela half to death. She would have screamed with shock if Sirius had not covered her mouth. "What are you doing," she asked, her annoyance at her search being disturbed replaced by bemused curiosity. "I'm hiding from Darla-poo, of course," he whispered so softly Lela had to lean in to hear him. "And why would you be hiding from your one true love," Lela asked. "You shouldn't play such cruel games with her heart, you know. I would never play such cruel games. I truly am a caring person," Lela told him with a smirk. He let out a bark laugh that he quickly silenced with his hand and nodded to go further up the stairs. Lela raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Good sir," she told him. "You will have to buy me dinner before I go to your room with you!" At this, Sirius began to laugh so hard that he fell down the few stairs to the commonroom where Darla let go of Peter-poo and rushed towards her now wounded Sirius-poo. "You beast of a girl!" She squealed at Lela, who still did not understand why Sirius found her statement so amusing. Lela decided that she, Darla, squealed like a little piggy, and then couldn't decide if she'd used that analogy before. As Lela pondered this, Darla turned to Sirius-poo and cooed "My poor poor sirius-poo. Are you alright poo-poo?" The fact that Sirius had just been called poo-poo sent Lela into a fit of laughter that lasted all the way down to the dining hall. Lela decided that despite the loss of diary, she'd laugh herself to sleep.

Unfortunatley, aside from that comic incident, Lela really didn't have much to laugh about. She had searched everywhere she's been this year and could not find the diary anywhere. She had even got Megan to search her dorm, which was shared with Bethany Knott. "I'd don't see the big deal," Severus hissed as they sat skipping rocks on the lake on night. Or rather, Lela moodily skipped rocks while Severus read from his potions book. "Does it have you confessing your undying love for some haggard old drunkard or some record of crimes in it?" Lela gave him a dark look. He put down his book alarmed. "Not Black, Lela," he hissed. Lela groaned and slumped back. "I don't confess my love for anyone, Sevvy. It's just... you know how I am. I obsess about silly things." Severus raised an eyebrow. "Your worried someone will read your obsessing over a haggard old drunkard?" Lela rolled over to her stomach and nodded. "What if Bethany finds it, Sevvy? What if she reads about Remus?" Severeus looked very serious suddenly. "You wrote that in your unprotected diary," he snapped more viciously then Lela had ever heard. "Yes," she answered in a small voice. Severus let out a growl and stood up, marching off. "Foul creature," Lela huffed, continuing to worry.

It wasn't until half way through the month that Lela suddenly sat up in the middle of the night. "Lily," she whispered as loud as a whisper could be and still be considered a whisper. Lily grunted. "I remember where my diary was last." there was another grunt and the sound of Lily turning over. "That day Sirius came back and mixed our books up, I finished writing in it in class and then put it on top of the textbook. I think he grabbed it by accident when he was sorting the books." There was a grunt and what sounded like a snore. "LILY! THE HAGGARD OLD DRUNKARD HAS MY DIARY!" Lela shouted making the rest of the girls in the room jump and Lily fall off of her bed. Fuming, Lela pulled her curtains apart and marched downstairs, ignoring the dark mumbles from her dorm mates.


	7. The Tail of Worm Betrayal

Beware the point of view might change so sorry if it's a little confusing!

When Sirius Black woke up the next morning, a beautiful Saturday morning, he stretched lazily and rolled over, glancing at his clock. So his beautiful Saturday morning was actually afternoon, but no matter. He had, after all, stayed up late reading. He felt a sudden pang of guilt as he reached under his mattress and pulled Lela Snape's diary out. He looked at it guiltily. Half way done with it, he hadn't gotten anywhere. So far, she still seemed to hate him, though that was in November. Boy, he sounded crazy in this, but not as obsessive and crazy as she did. He smiled lovingly at the book as he thought about Lela. Reading it was what Sirius imagined being able to read Lela's mind would sound like.

"You have to give it back." Sirius looked up. He hadn't realized his curtains were open. James, Remus, and Peter were sitting, watching him. "She's been tearing up the common room and dorms looking for it, Padfoot,"James said, agreeing with Remus' statement. "Lily says she's worried sick about it." "I'll give it back," Sirius snapped, annoyed with their disturbing his train of thought. "After I figure out -," he trailed off, looking away as if ashamed of what he almost let slip. "Padfoot, she likes you," Remus told him quietly. Sirius looked at him as if he didn't know what he was talking about. "Sirius doesn't worry about that kind of thing," Peter squeaked with a laugh at the very idea of Sirius having any sort of insecurity. "He could have any girl, Moony," Peter's voice called as he drifted downstairs to the common room to get his second sock he'd left there the night before. "You can tell, alright? You don't need to read her diary to find out," Remus continued as if uninterrupted. Sirius' confident expression faltered for a moment. "I-" Sirius began, face seeming to want to explain why he needed to read the diary to affirm what Remus stated. "I'll put it in her bag when she isn't looking today, alright?" Remus and James smiled. Sirius looked at James and saw James eyes twinkle with understanding. Of course, Sirius thought, I suppose his Lily situation is sort of the same thing. However, just as the three friends where about to have an unspoken moment of understanding that happens only to friends who share deep secrets such as these three friends did, Peter rushed in, face pink and panting. "Sirius! Lela is downstairs and says that if you don't come downstairs this instance, she is going to send Darla a love poem from you so you'll never get rid of her," he squeaked. Sirius raised his eyebrows at his friends. He placed the diary on the table and sighed. "I'll come up for it later," he assured them. James and Remus nodded, leaving the room with him. "Coming Wormtail," James asked sticking his head back in the room momentarily. "Once I get my socks on prongs," Peter smiled, struggling to put on his newly found sock.

Lela saw Sirius come down the stairs but remained calmly in her seat, clenching and unclenching her fists. He timidly approached, Remus giving him a bit of a push. "Hey Lela, love. How's it going?" Lela's rage evaporated in a moment and she suddenly felt her eyes filling with tears. She looked up at him with eyes full of despair. "Please, please, please," she sniffed. "Tell me that you accidently put my diary in your bag when you were sorting our books and have it. Please?" Sirius was taken aback by the desperation in her eyes. He looked over her head at Remus and James, as Peter ran in to join them, now both socks on. Their faces clearly said to go upstairs and get the diary. Admit it all. But what if she hated him for reading it? He nodded. "I have it Lela, it's upstairs." Lela let out a laugh of delight. "I could kiss you, Sirius, honestly kiss you!" she beamed jumping and hugging him. "Wait, wait, Lela. I want to be honest, alright?" Lela looked confused and stepped back, obviously unsure if she liked the sound of where this was going. "That day, after dinner, I emptied my bag and I found your diary. I knew it was yours, but I didn't give it back because-" "Sirius Black, get up to your dorm and bring it here now," Lela hissed so darkly and dangerously that for the first time Sirius saw the resemblance between Lela and her brother.

He rushed upstairs thinking of how he'd make it up to Lela, how he'd explain. If he could just explain he knew she'd understand. But when he got to the dorm room, he found it diary-less. He searched everywhere and soon found that it had disappeared. When he entered the common room again, he found that he was not only late to class, but now racked with guilt and wonder. Where had the diary gone?

There was only one person who truly knew where the diary had gone. He had been hopping around trying to put his shoes onto his now sock covered feet and had fallen onto the floor with a great thump! Such a thump that, although it was not heard floors below in the common room, it was great enough to shake the floor. And it was great enough to send the diary of Lela Snape from where ever it had been sitting to the floor. He looked at the diary, recalling the conversation he'd heard between Bethany Knott and her friend. Bethany Knott with her pretty eyes, gorgeous hair, and mean, powerful features. Bethany Knott who could surely give him an in to the power he desired. He didn't know completely where these thoughts were coming from, but they empowered him as he had never been empowered before. Without a second thought, he grabbed the diary, shrunk it, and shoved it in his pocket, rushing out of the dorm room.

Peter Petegrew sat in Transfiguration just behind Lela, Megan, and Lily who sat passing notes furiously. "Lela is angry," James observed quietly to Remus. Remus nodded, watching as Lela's quill snapped because of the force of her scribbling. Just then, Sirius entered the classroom, looking perplexed and worried. Giving Professor McGonagal his best charming smile, which wasn't saying much in his present condition, he walked down the aisle, running his hand through his hair. At Lela's desk he stopped momentarily, opening his mouth as if to explain something. But it was as if she knew what he was about to say and hissed "you stupid prat of an arse," throwing the broken quill at him and turning away. Sirius slumped down next to James; explaining in hurried whispers what had happened when he'd arrived in the diary-less dorm room to Remus and James, Peter listening half-heartedly. "Maybe she won't think it's your fault," James suggested. "It IS my fault though, if I'd just given it back instead of being such a git," Sirius whispered despairingly. Remus passed him a piece of cheering up chocolate, which Sirius took gratefully, spending the rest of the class halfheartedly taking notes and looking at the back of Lela's head.

When the bell rang, Sirius stood abruptly, apparently ready to reach out and explain to Lela what happened. But as he took a step forward, Lela turned and gave him a look of such betrayal and hurt that he stepped back, turning and waving at Patil as if he hadn't seen it. Lela and Megan marched out, Lily stalling momentarily to shrug at James, shake her head at Sirius, and then wave goodbye to Remus. "I've bloodied it up now," Sirius croaked. "I'm sure it will get better mate, give her some time," James encouraged. "Find her diary though," Remus added. "You coming Pete?"

Peter was lagging, seeming to struggle with his bag. "I'll catch up with you in a moment," he told them, shooing them away. When they had left, Peter went just outside the classroom, where Bethany and her friends stood talking, taking their time until their next class. "Bethany Knott," he squeaked. The tall girl turned, flipping her straight thick hair over her shoulder. She had a pretty face with deep red lips and vibrant eyes, but her beauty was masked by a look of contempt for the creature calling her name. "Yes," she drawled. Peter motioned her away from her friends, who all giggled in a pitying sort of way. "I have something for you, Bethany," he said shyly, blushing a little. Bethany looked torn between curiosity and disgust. He pulled the diary out, unshrinking it. "It's Lela Snape's diary," he told her. "I know what it is," Bethany snapped. Her expression softened and she batted her eyelashes. "Peter-poo," she cooed. "Where'd you get this?" Peter explained about Sirius Black's dilemma of the morning, and consequently the whole dilemma as he knew it between Lela and Sirius, and Bethany smiled. "Well, thank you Peter, darling." Peter's heart skipped a beat. Pretty girls rarely paid attention to him next to the other three marauders. "Lets keep this between the two of us, yes?" Peter nodded and with that, she kissed his cheek and sent him off, returning to her group of friends with a malicious sort of grin on her face.


	8. Revenge is best served with Butterbeer

To say Lela was angry was an understatement. But then again, she wasn't sure there was a word for how she felt. On one hand she wanted to hex Sirius Black into the next dimension for being such a stupid git. She wanted to cry a little for being such a backstabber. She wanted to hide because she was now, more then ever, sure a prank was on the ready. And a small part of her wanted to blush that he seemed to be interested in her diary. She crushed this part with her anger at his invading her privacy and then losing the diary. Besides, why should she be flattered by such a bigheaded arse of a boy? As she waited for Megan and perhaps Severus to exit, her mind suddenly flashed back to a few weeks ago when the stupid prat had tackled her and how there was a moment of-well, she didn't know what it was. But she could clearly see his dark eyes searching her face, his dark hair falling over his own face, just begging to be pushed out of the way, and the slight twitch of a smile as he moved a little closer ready to perhaps kiss and then-"LELA!" Lela jumped looking around confused. Megan and Severus stood before her, raising their eyebrows. "What are you doing? We've been saying your name for ages," Megan said. Lela sighed, pushing her dark hair from her face. Then looking from one face to another, she suddenly burst into tears.

Severus tensed as his sister burst into tears. It was strange seeing a girl of 17 burst into tears before him, and he felt a wave of anger at whoever made his sister cry. He had a feeling he knew who the cause was though. Megan leaped into action, hugging Lela and cooing "it'll be okay" and "tell me what happened." Lela seemed to shake her head, looking at Severus. He stepped forward. "Megan, I think," he paused as Megan stepped back, seeming to understand. Lela and Severus stood alone for a while, silently watching over another. Lela had stopped crying, simply standing there sniffing and shuffling her feet as if she were two, waiting for something. "Lela," Severus said quietly. Lela looked up through midnight hair, eyes puffy from crying. "I can kick that arse's arse if you like." there was pause as Severus marveled at how bad he was at this whole comforting thing when Lela let out a laugh and embraced him so suddenly that it took him a few minutes to figure out what was going on. He wrapped his arms around her and smiled. "Thanks, Sev. I'll keep that in mind," she laughed. He let a small smile appear on his face, as no one but his little sister (mind you, only by a few minutes, but younger all the same) was around. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "Want some chocolate?" She smirked, taking it. "You never share chocolate," she pointed out, taking a bite. "For you, I share anything."

Bethany waited, deciding what she should do with the diary. One week passed and she suddenly found herself in the mist of misery so great, she couldn't have planned it. The longer she held onto the diary, the madder Lela Snape got at Sirius Black and the more depressed Sirius Black got. Bethany observed in potions how Black always seemed about to say something witty and charming, but stopped short, as if something told him it was a bad idea. She watched how Lela tensed as Black approached and then looked close to tears when he passed, as if dreading his speaking, yet wishing he would. Bethany smirked at these teenage dances. How silly to put so much faith in another person. So much hope. It was weak. Bethany felt that it really was nature's way to crush the weak, and what better way to do that then let the misery eat away at them. She knew neither would approach the other until they were about to explode. Black was waiting to find the diary that sat in her pocket and Lela was waiting for an explanation. Truthfully, Bethany controlled the whereabouts of the diary and therefore their situation. It made her practically gleeful. After another week, she decided to drop the bomb. As she exited potions one day, she bumped Lela. "Hello there, Lela, dear." Lela looked up suspiciously. A few feet ahead, the marauders had stopped, or rather, Black had stopped and turned around glaring at Bethany threateningly. Looked challengingly to Bethany. Bethany gave him a wink before concentrating on Lela once more. "So sorry to bump you, must go," she called casually, moving towards the crowd behind her. "Oh, I nearly forgot," she turned back to face Lela. "I've been reading such a fascinating book lately, Lela." Bethany nearly cackled with glee as the color drained from both Lela and Black's faces. "If I'd known it was so interesting, I never would have given it to you as a birthday gift. tootles." and with that she had disappeared into the crowd, laughing all the way as she imagined what would soon follow.

Sirius watched Lela pick up her books very slowly, Lily and Megan helping. Lily stood and came over. "You four better get out of here. She is livid and you," she turned to Sirius, eyes flashing. "How did Bethany Knott get Lela's diary? To think I actually tried to convince Lela you cared." she turned and marched off, James pulling Sirius by the arm away. When they got to the library they moved to the far table, hidden by shelves. "Alright ," Remus said sitting down. "Here's the dilemma. We all saw the book the morning before Sirius lost it. How did Bethany Knott get it?" There was silence until Sirius banged the table, letting out a string of curse words to describe the girl in question. I don't think that's the important part," said James, waving an apology to the librarian. "I think the important part is how are we going to get it back?" "What's the use," Sirius asked, resting his head on the table. "She's never going to forgive me now. She won't even listen to me." There was silence as the marauders all looked at one another. "I've got a plan," hissed Remus.

Lela sat next to Severus skipping rocks again. She was losing badly. She had explained everything that had happened the day before and now Severus sat silently watching her. "Bloody hell Lela," he said suddenly. "What?" "Your amazingly dense." there was a confused pause. "What?!" Lela stared at him very hard. She had no idea how her ranting about Bethany Knott and Black made her dense. In fact, this was the first time a marauder rant had received an insult. "Look, I hate to admit it Lela," he snapped, and truly he did looked pained as he was talking. "But Black really likes you. I've seen it for a while. I think he only pranked you all those years because you are so bleeding dense, not that he's any better. There is no way in hell Black would give Knott your diary. So stop using that as an excuse and for goodness sakes go talk to him. We both know you want to. And Merlin knows that he wants to." Lela gaped at her brother, who now seemed determined to moodily stare at the water. "But, he always pranks you and me... why are you sticking up for him?" "For petessake, Lela," Severus sighed. "I hate Black with every fiber of my being and I would love to see him miserable forever, but not you. And if making you happy makes him happy, I'll have to find a new way to make him suffer." Lela smirked. "You approve of a relationship with Black?" He glared at her. "Don't make me say it Lela." But Lela smiled and threw her stone to skip five times.

Sirius pushed open the window silently, touching his pocket to make sure something was still there, and pulled his broom out from under his bed. Kicking off of the tower wall, he zoomed around to the girls tower, looking at the many darkened window. He thought, which one was Lela's again? He'd made a rhyme to it. "Around and round the towers I go,

Up two stories like a show.

Not first window, second, though.

That is where the sun does grow."

He suddenly realized as he repeated this that he had no skill in poetry. "Note to self," he said aloud. "Sirius poems are not romantic." He paused a moment outside of the window to chuckle at his play on words, mostly funny due to nerves. This could either go two ways. She could either slam the window in his face, or.....well he didn't even want to jinx the other option. He knocked on the window softly. The window opened almost at once and Lily looked at him, a smile on her face. "I'm guessing Gryffindor loses points for this..." Sirius began. "Where's Remus?" Sirius was a bit taken aback at this but muttered that he was in the hospital wing. "And Peter?" "Erm..sleeping like a log, snoring like a chainsaw, why?" he replied. "And your going..."Lily asked. "Erm...I don't know. Is Lela there?" Lily smiled, turned to the bed next to the window and began muttering something to the person there. Then, she waved and rushed from the room. In a moment, Lela stood and looking at Sirius. "Hey," he whispered, avoiding her dark eyes. "Scoot over," she whispered. That he hadn't expected. He moved back so she could ride on the broom. "Astronomy tower," she told him softly. He nodded, not daring to say anything so close to a place she could change her mind and jump off.

When they arrived at the top of the astronomy tower, Lela looked around, nodding as if pleased. "No snogging couples," she explained to him. There was silence as they both look at each other and looked away. Finally, Sirius took a step forward. "Look, Lela, I have to explain." She titled her head as if to listen better and he took a deep breath. "I know I should have given the diary back. In fact, that day you asked for it, I was going to. It's just, well, it always seemed-and I thought-I wasn't sure if you liked me..." he trailed off lamely. Lela said nothing, simply watched him, mouth twitching into either a frown or smile, Sirius couldn't tell which. "Every girl always swoons, Lela. But you don't and so-I don't know-it was weird. I thought-maybe her diary will tell me if she likes me or not. Because, well, I wasn't sure if maybe you thought the cosmics were against us since we didn't kiss twice..." he paused searching to see if she understood. "I swear I don't know how Knotts got the diary, honest, but-I just was kind of-insecure? This is all coming out badly. Erm," he paused running his hand through his hair, though it fell right back in front of his face, annoyingly blocking half of his face. "I just think-I mean- I think I-do you know what I mean? I think I-erm-you..." He was feeling very stupid and felt his face beginning to turn red for the first time in ages. This was a bad idea. But just as he was deciding how best to get off the tower, to jump or to fly, Lela stepped forward, a smile dancing in her eyes. She reached up and gently moved the hair from his face. "You know what, Sirius?" Sirius looked at her unsure, her hand resting on his chest. She pulled his shirt so that his face was very close to hers and whispered "I think I-erm-you know- you too." With that, she wrapped her free arm around his neck and kissed him. Sirius wasn't sure how to react at first. His brain was moving slower then usual. Way slower. But soon it registered that Lela Snape had feelings of erm-you know for him a swell and she was kissing him. He let out a bark laugh as he tried to lift Lela up. In his ecstasy he miscalculated and soon they had toppled to the ground again, Lela lying on the hard stone floor glaring half heartedly up at him. He looked worriedly at her. "Sorry," he croaked, blushing again at how unsmooth he was being. "You alright?" "Watch out for owls," Lela giggled. Sirius chuckled and pulled something from his pocket, unshrinking it. "Me lady," he said presenting it. Lela sat up and stared. It was her diary. "I made sure to enchant the pages about Remus' secret so that anyone but you would read it and think it was a fascinating shopping list right after I read it. So Knott doesn't know." Lela beamed "Lets go for a midnight stroll," Lela smiled. "I want to know what you read." "Lots of talk of food, actually," Sirius said, helping her up and carrying his broom over his shoulder. "But I have to say that personally, I find the dirty knee, absurdly messy hair, jam in lap look to be very very sexy."


End file.
